despite my determination the pain is penetrating
by JunAkihiko
Summary: As Uchiha Sasuke becomes Hokage, he takes advantage of his new powers to control the one he wants most. Uzumaki Naruto. SasukexNaruto Yaoi!
1. A quick game of cat and mouse

**Hey guys, this time, I will finish this! Still unsure if I will make this complete or on going. So, just letting you in on that, also ps, in this story Uchiha Sasuke did not betray Konoha. He is very well liked for the act he puts on, but for people who know his true colours, he is also well hated. **

**Chapter 1**

"Hokage-Sama!" Naruto called, and, as always, the desk was empty. He nodded as he called his name again.  
>"Hokage-Sama?" He stepped carefully and cautiously towards the couch that was still warm from someone sleeping on it. He sighed and rolled his eyes but a voice made him straighten up.<p>

"Naruto-Kun, did you call me?" Naruto turned to see Sasuke behind him and his breath caught in his throat. Sasuke was leaning against the wall, arms crossed and a bitter sweet smile spread on his face. Naruto nodded and bowed.

"U-Um, yes, you, I mean…" Sasuke stepped forward and Naruto took a step back. His eyes flitted to the clock, it was after seven already! No, this can't be right! Naruto smiled wearily and almost fell on the couch, but moved in time so he got his balance and put the papers on the desk. His heart was banging violently against his chest, and he was beginning to sweat.

"What is it?" Sasuke asked, his voice was way too close for Naruto. He grabbed the papers as he turned his head and twisted his body to face Sasuke. Sasuke had his hands slammed on the desk, pinning and blocking Naruto from escaping. Every time Naruto took a breath, his chest would slightly touch Sasuke's, making him shudder.

"This is bad. This is really bad. I know how this will end; I have to get out of here!" Naruto screamed in his head but he tried desperately to maintain his composer. "I, I mean, the consul needs you to sign these documents." One of Sasuke's hands lifted and Naruto tried to move. Sasuke planted his one leg between Naruto's. He gasped and bit the inside of his cheek. "This…is bad!" Sasuke touched the papers Naruto held to his chest and looked at them.

"This will take till morning to read, but I'll get right at it." Naruto sighed and couldn't stop from smiling. He would be saved. Sasuke moved his leg, and Naruto's eyes widened as he slowly reacted.

"Wait! Stop…" Naruto could feel his face burning up, and his hands began to tremble. Sasuke nudged his leg again, and Naruto squeezed his eyes tightly shut.

"Already hard?" Naruto swallowed his pride, and Sasuke smiled. "Why don't you sit down?" Sasuke gestured towards the chair and Naruto moved towards it and sat there for a moment, until Sasuke made his way over to him. Sasuke knelt down and whispered softly in his ear.

"Naruto, is sitting as I, the Hokage is kneeling." Naruto looked down as he felt Sasuke fumbling with his belt. "I'll make you feel good."

Lately, Sasuke has been doing all sort of things to Naruto. Confusing his mind and body, teasing and playing. These small games seem to amuse him; Naruto flinched as he felt Sasuke's tongue on him.

"Please…stop!" Naruto's gasped loudly, he felt hot and weird. His body didn't know whether to flinch away or to crumble at Sasuke's feet. Sasuke pulled back for a moment and met Naruto's eyes.

"Don't you mean, please don't stop?" Naruto's eyes widened as Sasuke said. "Look, you're as hard as a rock. So don't try to say you don't enjoy it." Naruto gasped and grabbed Sasuke's hair. He began to pant and groan, Sasuke reacted to it. But Naruto would come first. Since Sasuke became Hokage, he could do whatever he wanted. But that doesn't mean he has a lot of free time. All his free time is devoted to Naruto and Naruto only. He shivered and Sasuke smiled as he knew Naruto would be hitting climax soon.

"Please, no, stop! I'll end up dirtying…" He flinched and his body grew hotter, his voice was cut off, and all that would come out was shrewd pleasured moans.  
>It was music to Sasuke's ears.<p>

"Ah, please! No!" Sasuke pulled back as he swallowed most of it, but managed to get some on his face as well. Naruto looked up, he was panting hard and breathless; as he stood he wiped it off with the back of his hand. He grabbed Naruto's shoulders from behind and said.

"Look, this is the Hokage's world; do you want it to be yours?" Naruto's eyes widened as Sasuke whispered. "It was your dearest wish wasn't it? To become Hokage right, to be able to prove yourself to the villagers that doubted you."

"Stop…" Sasuke licked his ear and then bitterly whispered, his warm breath brushing against Naruto's face.

"If you say it right, I can give it to you." Naruto's eyes began to water.

"Stop…" The blonde whimpered.

"If you ask me right, I can turn your dream into a reality." Naruto shook his head gently.

"Isn't that what you want, Naruto-Kun?" Naruto could hear the venom on the last words, yes. Naruto wanted it; yes he worked hard to get it. But Sasuke was picked, not Naruto. He knew this, and yet…why did it bother him so? He wanted to win against Sasuke, even if it was a small thing. But he couldn't, especially not now. Naruto stood and Sasuke smiled.

"I do not want it." Sasuke knew he did, his body language gave it all away, but he was trying to be mature about it. He was the Hokage after all. As Naruto walked away and shut the door Sasuke shouted loudly.

"Don't think you can run from me now Naruto. No matter where you go, as long as I'm Hokage," He looked down and picked up the papers that he had to work on soon. "I won't be separated from you."

**I hope you enjoyed! **

**Jun Kazumi Akihiko **


	2. Hide and Sneak

Hey guys, here's the second chapter to 'Despite my determination, the pain is still penetrating' So please enjoy, and yes this is a Yaoi so be careful if your not into Yaoi~ 

Chapter 2

Naruto couldn't even breathe, his breath was still sealed away deep into his soul. He gripped his heart. "What does he mean we won't be separated?" Naruto's free hand began to shake and his bottom lip quivered. As he walked away, he bumped into Sakura.

"Oh, hi there Naruto!" Naruto looked at the girl with pink hair, and was in high spirits even if it was close to ten at night.

"Hi Sakura-Chan." She saw he was trembling but when she asked a voice echoed down the hall. Kurenai.

"Sakura, can I speak with you?"

"Hang on!" She called but when she turned back to Naruto, he was gone. She bit her lip. "Oh dear, what's brothering him this time?"

Naruto jumped on the window and landed on a roof, and ran. "I have to get home, I'll be safe there. I'll just sleep, shrug this off and maybe Sasuke will too."

Sasuke looked out his window and saw Naruto running. He touched his lips and smiled.

"So you really are scared of me, huh?"

Naruto got home, and he opened his door to an empty room with a bed. He collapsed on his bed and closed his eyes but even if his dreams almost started he heard the window open. His eyes widened and he twisted his head back, Sasuke sat in the open window, and he was grinning down at Naruto. Naruto gasped and sat up.

"Were you about to go to sleep?" Naruto looked around the room, and his eyes became blurry, as he began to fall back, off the bed. Sasuke jumped down and easily caught him.

"Sorry, I had to use my Sharingan on you." Naruto's body felt hot and numb but at the same time every time Sasuke touched him. His body reacted and Naruto found himself moaning just from Sasuke simply lifting Naruto and placing him on the bed.

"What…What did you do to me?" Naruto's voice sounded husky and weird, but Sasuke leaned over him.

"I made you more willing is all." Naruto panted and twisted his head as Sasuke's hand went into his pants but simply just touching the inside of his thigh. Naruto clenched the sheets and panted.

"No! Don't!" Sasuke smiled and Naruto's face was flushed and his body, willing enough. "Shall I help you?" Naruto didn't want to be touched, but yet, when Sasuke pulled back. His body went on fire, and when he looked around, he knew what Sasuke was doing. He was using his Sharingan to make an illusion! Naruto arched his back and screamed.

"Stop, no! Please, not that, Stop!" Naruto grabbed his head and tears rolled of his cheeks. "Please, please, please!" Sasuke stopped for a moment and Naruto gasped for air, and he felt as if he was out of energy. Sasuke leaned in so much that his hair was tickling Naruto's cheek.

"You almost climaxed." Naruto opened his eyes and Sasuke's eyes were dark, not red anymore. "You really can't handle pleasure can you?"

"Get out…" Sasuke touched Naruto, and his body started up again, but this time Sasuke was not using the Sharingan. Naruto was reacting on his own? "What did you do to me?" Sasuke smiled and rocked into Naruto, who turned hard.

"Nothing, really." Naruto tried to stop Sasuke from moving, they were just rocking together with their clothes on but yet this felt unbelievably good. "Stop!" Naruto grabbed Sasuke's shoulders to slow his movements and Sasuke did stop, not because of Naruto. But because he was frustrated that Naruto just wouldn't give in. Sasuke made a hand sign and Naruto looked as he saw snakes coming down his arms.

"What are you doing now?" Naruto started to struggle his earnest. But it was too late, the snakes squeezed Naruto's wrists together tightly making Naruto cry out. "That hurts!" Sasuke liked seeing Naruto in pain, it some what turned him on. "Sasuke, it hurts! My wrists are breaking! Please!" Sasuke grabbed Naruto's shirt, and he looked as Sasuke pulled it apart. "Ah, no!" Sasuke ran a hand over a harden nipple and Naruto looked at Sasuke. He leaned in and sucked on it. "No! No!" Sensations of pleasure ran up his body, but he would not give in. If he did…if he did…

Sasuke pulled back to see Naruto hiccupping from crying. "Why are you crying? Does it hurt that much?" Naruto turned his face away and Sasuke kissed them away. But Naruto didn't stop crying, he just sobbed harder. "Tell me what's wrong."

"No…" He whined and sobbed on. Sasuke grabbed his face forcefully and twisted his face to face his own.

"That's an order." Naruto's eyes slowly opened but his vision was blurred by the tears. Sasuke some what looked troubled. Naruto's wrists were throbbing with pain, and his body was still hot from being turned on.

"I hate … "Sasuke's eyes widened as Naruto said slowly. "How you think you can control me." Sasuke let go of Naruto's face and as soon as he stopped his jutsu, Naruto went unconscious. Sasuke leaned back and wiped Naruto's fallen tears away.

"I'm not controlling you… I just," The snakes slowly disappeared as Sasuke did too. But his words lingered as morning came and Naruto came around. "Want a bond with you…"

Ha ha! I'm loving this so much, eheh XD Rape, one sided love and forced feelings. Gotta love it! More to come, really, I mean it.


	3. Find and scare

**Hey guys here more Yaoi ness of Sasu x Naru. Please enjoy !**

**Ps, thank you so much to the following for emailing me and keeping me motivated! Rentamiya, LurvirsLuvvie, KateKyuu, rokudaime09, babbydoll45, Peanutbaby86**

**FireStarSragon1019, Tenshi Yami- Angel of Darkness, KyouyaxCloud, naash, draongfire04, Sazzy, Atomic- Diamonds- Afterimage. **

**Thanks for all your emails, comments and begging to get my ass in gear! **

**Chapter 3**

Sasuke sat in his office, staring out the window and watching the fluffy clouds go by, and Naruto was late.  
>"Tsk." Sasuke said as he turned his head. A knock echoed through the empty and lonely room, Sasuke knew who it was straight away.<br>"Come in." The door opened and Sakura stood there. He knew what was on her mind, nothing had changed.  
>"What do you want?" She pulled at the bottom of her shirt, but for some reason she was sweating, and breathing hard. This got Sasuke's attention and he turned fully to her. He looked at her hands, they were trembling. <p>

"Naruto…" Sasuke's eyes widened. "Is gone." Sasuke shot to his feet, eyes widening.

"What?!" He exclaimed, Sakura looked at the ground as Sasuke yelled even louder. "What do you mean?!"

"Hokage-Sama, he has run away." Sasuke paused, a childish smirk crossing his face. He was that scared huh? Did his clone last night shake him up that much? If he didn't run out of charka he could have easily shaken him up more. But his Sharingan and jutsu was too much, and so Naruto has run off. "Sakura," Her head raised as he said. "Tell the consul I'm going to be a bit late today."

Naruto made it to the gates of Konoha but he knew it was no use; Sakura had caught him before he left his room.

She would definitely tell Sasuke and, knowing him, he would be punished.  
>Naruto squeezed his eyes tightly before jumping over the gate and running as fast as he could. If he went back now, who knows what Sasuke might do?<p>

Naruto jumped on a tree, and then began leaping from one tree to the next tree. He had to get away, but where would he go? That was a great big question, he couldn't run for long, Sasuke would use Neji and his byakugan and then he would be easily found.  
>But what might be worse is he could easily ask Shikamaru for his shadow tactic. Naruto stopped and shivered with fear. What if he used Ino's mind thing on him, his body would be helpless! Naruto's legs shook but yet… He leaned on a tree and pressed the palm of his hand against his forehead.<p>

"I want him to find me…" Naruto looked up. "I want him to pay attention to me." Naruto leaned forward and tears fell. "He fills me with fear and lust. I would take my life to save his, not because he is Sasuke. But because I took an oath, he is the Hokage." No matter what Naruto wanted, he couldn't fight the word or the command of the Hokage. That's what he feared the most. 

"Found you." Naruto gasped loudly but it was not Sasuke, it was someone else. Someone he did not know because their face was covered. But before Naruto could recover from his shell shock, a kunai rammed into his shoulder, pinning him against the rough bark of the tree.

He let out a horrible scream that sent birds flying into the sky, and blood dripped to the ground. Naruto tried to pull the kunai out, but the pain was too great to even move it. His hands trembled again as the voice said. 

"How careless he is, to let his little bird fly away." Naruto looked and Itachi was grinning in front of him! Naruto's heart stopped, didn't he die! He had to of died! Itachi grabbed Naruto's face and squeezed, digging his fingers into his cheek. Naruto groaned in pain. Naruto's mouth was forced open and Itachi shoved something down Naruto's throat. Gagging on whatever it was, it was pushed to far back to even regurgitate up. He swallowed it. His legs tinged for a bit, and then Itachi smiled. 

"How is it?" How is it he asked? What in the world did he mean? It hurt, but yet…oh no. 

"Sasuke…" Naruto mumbled, Itachi grinned. "Something…is wrong…" Naruto finished, glancing up at the other. Itachi laughed a laugh that sent chills down the boy's body.

"Your right. I just gave you a pill that will stop your heart in ten minutes." Naruto didn't understand, if the pill is to stop his heart, then why…? 

"It's a love drug." When did Itachi start into these things? "And you're my experiment."

"This isn't Itachi, is it? It can't be, I met Itachi once, and he was scary. Not a pervert." Itachi waved and smiled as he disappeared. Just scaring Naruto even more.

"Sasuke…Sasuke…Sasuke!" Naruto panted, leaning forward so much that the Kunai cut through his shoulder and his body fell. He fell off the tree and felt the wind cutting through him but he didn't have the strength to stop himself. He roughly landed on his stomach, his hormones were going crazy and his body ached all over the place. What is this? His body is on fire, he can't breathe. "Sasuke!" He gasped and then he heard a faint voice calling. 

"Naruto! Hold on!" Naruto looked up before gasping out.

"I feel weird… I'm going to die!" Sasuke leaned over him and for some reason Naruto opened his arms for him. Sasuke smiled a little, but there was still worry in his eyes.

"I won't let you die." Sasuke stripped Naruto so fast, Naruto didn't know it himself. Sasuke raised his legs over his shoulders and entered into him. Naruto screamed and knew he would be bleeding from the lack of preparation. 

" Move!" Every time Sasuke did, he could breathe a bit more.  
>"Don't let me…please!" Naruto thought. "The antidote to this is sex?" Sasuke went to deep and Naruto screamed.<p>

"Not so deep! Too deep!" Naruto knew tears were falling down his cheeks, but he didn't care. "It hurts! It hurts! No more!" Sasuke rubbed Naruto, and he screamed louder, more birds went flying from the treetops. Sasuke suddenly gasped with pleasure, making Naruto pause to listen.

'So, even Sasuke makes these sounds?' He thought to himself as Sasuke pulled out. He twisted Naruto's body so he was on his hands and knees, before re entering him.

Naruto leaned his head on the ground, and moaned. Sasuke lay on top of him, but kept moving. The ebony haired teen grabbed Naruto's length in his hand and pumped. "I can't handle both! Please stop!" Naruto gasped, the pleasure was overwhelming and his head was spinning.

"Naruto! Don't ever leave again, you hear me?!" Naruto nodded and gasped as he dug his nails into the dirt. "That's an order!" Sasuke yelled as he flinched.

"Don't control me…" Naruto whimpered, Sasuke sighed before pulling Naruto onto his lap. Naruto leaned his head on his shoulder, whispering moans. Sasuke licked Naruto's neck and growled out. 

"I don't, I just want you to know. I will not let you run, or leave my side. You're mine, forever. That's an order of Hokage, not controlling." Naruto snickered at the speech before grinning.

"Fine, my Hokage-Sama, your wish is my command." 

"If you leave me again, I will find you and I will tie you up, and gag you so you can't scream. Then when you beg me to let you go, and you have no pride left, I'll let you fall into my arms. You should be honoured to have so much of my attention." Naruto nodded as he wrapped his arms around Sasuke's neck to pull him closer. He breathlessly replied. 

"Yes, Hokage-Sama."

As Sasuke held Naruto's waist to steady him they got back to the gate, Sasuke smiled.

"Don't run, or else." Sasuke mumbled into his ear before disappearing.  
>Naruto's eyes widened. "It...It was a shadow clone!?" Naruto was a little shaken up but yet managed to smile as the real Sasuke was sitting at the top of the gate. Naruto's legs shook and he had to fight to keep himself up. Sasuke gave a bitter grin as Naruto gave a tired smile back.<p>

"Welcome home, Naruto." That's all he remembered before he started to fall forward.

**Still more to come, but this will not go on forever. So the next chapter might be the last. **


	4. Egos and Promises

**Hey here's another chapter! I hope you all enjoy, remember this is a Yaoi of Sasu X Naru ^^ It's funny when I first started liking this couple (I was… 14?) I liked Naruto as the Seme just because Sasuke looked more girly, but now that Sasuke is all grown up. It's obvious who is the Seme and the Uke **

**Chapter 4 **

Sasuke jumped down from the gate where he was sitting, and walked over to Naruto who was slowly falling forward. Sasuke offered a hand and Naruto grasped it tightly.  
>"Don't worry...I got you." Sasuke's eyes softened before he quietly said. "I've always had." Sasuke pulled Naruto onto his back and nodded as he jumped through the gate, then from roof to roof.<p>

Naruto felt his hand twitch and than he slowly felt a wind grab his hair and push it on his face, he groaned.  
>Naruto moved his toes before realising the bed was too short, his feet were poking off the end. He slowly opened his eyes and looked around. Blurry version became clearer. "The hospital?" He thought out loud; as he sat up slowly he stretched his arms above his head.<br>They were a bit stiff but still moveable. "How did I get in here?" The door opened and a shy looking Hinata poked her head through, she smiled and walked completely into the room.

"You're up finally." He looked at her funny as she put a tray down and smiled.  
>"You were out for three days." Naruto's eyes widened in disbelief, then his stomach growled loudly making both of them chuckle.<p>

Well that would explain his monstrous appetite.  
>Naruto grinned as Hinata said. "I'll run blood work on you after you've eaten, then...uh, the Hokage-Sama would like to see you." Naruto nodded, but inside he was shaking a bit.<p>

A knock echoed through out the room again, Sasuke was way past from being annoyed to angered by anything that moved. "What?" He called, and the door opened showing a pale blonde boy, still walking strange and a sick smile acrossed his face.

Sasuke stood as Naruto tripped and almost fell, but Sasuke was at his side. "If you're this weak, I should have come to you." Naruto grabbed Sasuke's arm. 

"But the Hokage's wish is my command." Naruto whispered, Sasuke straightened Naruto up, and when Sasuke let go of him, he almost fell back. Sasuke grabbed his wrist and pulled him tightly against his body.

"Sorry, I still have no balance." Naruto muttered.

"How in the world did you even get here!?" Naruto just smiled

"My secret."

Sasuke was gonna use the famous line 'What the Hokage commands, he gets.'

But Naruto did something that stopped his tongue. "Why did you use a cloned on me, back in my room and in the forest? Why not come yourself?" The blonde asked and a confused look formed on his face. Sasuke stood and steadied Naruto, who was still a little shaky on his feet.

"I'm a prisoner to power," Naruto looked up suddenly, a sad look on his face.

"I can't leave this building." Naruto's eyes widened and Sasuke's fingers touched Naruto's pale cheek. "Naruto, you are my freedom, did you know that?" Naruto shook his head and Sasuke smiled. "Now you do." Sasuke bent down, grabbing Naruto's face as he slowly kissed him.

It was a gentle kiss filled not with fear or lust but, feelings. Sasuke's feeling.  
>Loneliness, sadness, depression and … love? Naruto pulled back and Sasuke glanced to the ground.<p>

"You are dismissed." Sasuke whispered, Naruto's eyes widened, Sasuke wouldn't do anything more? That was surprising.

"Hokage-"Sasuke turned his back on before saying. 

"You are dismissed, Naruto." Naruto bowed but than said. 

"If you are the Hokage, how can anyone lock you up?" And with that he walked slowly out the room, looking over his shoulder once. Once Sasuke heard the door close, he mumbled to himself.

"And so the teacher becomes the student." He smiled before he rammed his fist into the wall, leaving a few cracks and then he dropped his arm to his side. He never wanted to be the Hokage, he didn't want this. He hated this and yet, in despite of all that that, he took it. He knew this determination to find a way to keep the pain from penetrating is to keep Naruto by his side. But as he stands here now, Sasuke considers himself a fool. He only wanted Naruto's attention and yet, he has everyone's but Naruto's. And that's why he used clones. He couldn't handle being rejected by Naruto in person. Isn't that stupid? And yet, what Naruto asked made him look out the window and smile. He should have told Naruto but yet even know, the Hokage is scared. Scared of something that seems so pointless and yet keeps him a live, he breathed in and sighed.

When a knock at the door interrupted his thoughts, he smiled before he glanced at the window. He suddenly felt like acting his age.

Naruto was falling all over the place; He couldn't even keep his balance!

Hinata told him that it was amazing that he was even awake. Naruto did in fact make it home, but when he closed his eyes he remembered Sasuke's soft hands on his cheek. And his lips that were always rough but gentle at the same time.

Sasuke's face was a little pale, Naruto remembered, maybe he was tired or stressed?

Then he remembered Hinata taking blood but also injecting more into him.

He smiled as he remembered Sasuke was a little distance, and did nothing to him.

"He gave me blood." He smile remained and his heart thumped hard within his chest. "He protected me…" It was the Hokage's job to guide and for the workers to obey and protect.  
>Never go against the word of the Hokage, but yet. Sasuke protected him many times. It wasn't until this moment did he fully realized.<p>

Naruto's eyes fell to the picture that was taken with Kakashi, Sakura, Sasuke and himself, they were all small then. He picked it up slowly. It suddenly dawned on him, he feared Sasuke so much...yet...he loved him.  
>Why did he get this feeling he wanted to see him?<p>

Shaking his head, he put the picture down before his legs began to shake; just when he thought he was going to collapse someone grabbed his upper arm.  
>He looked over his shoulder and Sasuke was standing there, Naruto's eyes widened and then he hit the man behind him hard, if it was a clone it would merely disappear, yet the Sasuke behind remained there, rubbing at his arm where Naruto had punched him.<p>

"Hokage-"Sasuke touched his lips slowly with his finger "What are you doing here?" 

"I'm Sasuke now, call my name." Naruto's eyes widened and he averted his eyes. 

"I can't…its embarrassing and you're also the Hokage-Sama. It would be disrespectful!"

Sasuke's eyes filled with hurt, and he stripped the Hokage's jacket off himself, if possible, Naruto's eyes widened even more. Than with a fast movement, he pulled Naruto's head band over his eyes.

"Hokage-Sama, I can't see!"

"I've taken off the jacket; I've covered your eyes. Please, call my name." Naruto's eyes widened yet again, why was this so important to him to have his name called? "Naruto, I can call your name, now call mine."

"But you're the Hokage-"

"Not now I'm not! My clone is in the building and I'm standing before you." Naruto felt Sasuke's fingers link with his own.

"You can't command me." Naruto said, remembering he is not really the Hokage-Sama right now. So he can't control him, can he? Naruto felt Sasuke bump his forehead against his.

"I don't wish too, it's a request." Naruto swallowed hard, he's said it all his childhood, but yet he has not said it in almost two years. He licked his lips.

"Sasuke-Kun." Sasuke wrapped his arms around Naruto's waist to pull him in closer.

"Sasuke." He whispered, smile lighting up his face as he pulled the head band up. Even though it was dark, the moonlight coming through the window had lit up Sasuke's face and hair, he looked gorgeous.

"Say it while looking into my eyes." Sasuke whispered, Naruto felt his face burn up and heart beat a little harder in his chest.

"I can't! That's way out of my comfort zone." Sasuke chuckled and then began to laugh. Naruto's eyes moved to his, he was sitting on the bed, grabbing his stomach. Has it really been this long since he laughed? Like, really laughed, meaning it as well.

"You really are cute." Why did Naruto's heart thump hard? Being called cute by another man shouldn't make him feel like this. And yet…

"Sasuke." Sasuke looked up as Naruto walked over to him, he grabbed his shoulders.

Their eyes met and Naruto smiled. "Sasuke."

Sasuke grinned as he pulled Naruto into his lap. Slow kisses started, gentle, comforting caresses of lips.

Sasuke's hands traveled up Naruto's back before slipping under the fabric of his shirt, Naruto raised his arms and allowed the elder to pull the shirt over his head.

It was comforting, and not rough. Naruto liked seeing a kind side to Sasuke, a side that no one will see, but him.

Sasuke ran his tongue up firm Naruto's stomach, licking a trail up his torso and up the side of his neck, Naruto let out a soft moan; Sasuke's eyes watched him closely.

Naruto got off Sasuke's shirt, and both boys shifted so Sasuke was on top and Naruto the bottom.

As fast as he could, Sasuke removed Naruto's pants and flung them across the room, he shortly pulled his pants down then off. Entering was a struggle, as Sasuke desperately tried to find the blonde's opening, he slipped himself inside and Naruto whimpered. Biting his lip hard as his hands grasped the covers under his body.

"Don't take it all on your own, if it hurts, hold onto me." Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke's neck, his tan fingers rubbing at the soft skin.

"Your being kind." Naruto said back softly, Sasuke smiled and then thrust hard into Naruto, who gasped and clenched his teeth. Sasuke chuckled in reply

"Is that better?"

"Bastard" Naruto cursed, but Sasuke moved so any other words caught in Naruto's mouth. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to move, and it hurt to even blink. And yet, he wanted this. Not being raped, but right now, Sasuke was being careful and kind. He turned his head to look at the picture on his night stand and thought that even if he hated Sasuke at first it wasn't the fact that Sasuke was better.

He wanted to be equal with Sasuke, at least with one thing. He may have lost and won't become Hokage. But he gets to be with the person he most cares for. Naruto squeezed his hands tightly around Sasuke's neck. Sasuke bent down and let their lips meet.

"Never, do I want to be apart from you, again." Naruto said "My Sasuke-Sama."

A loud knock woke both of the boys up the next day.

"Hokage-Sama?!" Naruto's eyes widened and his breathing halted as he looked over at Sasuke, whose eyes were slowly opening. He suddenly hit his forehead with the palm of his hand. I shifted to my side as I studied his profile; he opened his eyes and sighed.

"Damn, I ran out of Charka…"

**That's the end lady and gentlemen, hope you enjoyed! **

**-Jun Kazumi Akihiko**

**-Seth Morgan James**


	5. Two halves make a whole

_**Thank you so much my beautiful followers~ Because of all of you, and the positive feed back I received I decided to put an extra (or two) for the people that made me smile~ Thank you so so so so much! And to show my gratitude, here's more of what you asked for!**_

_** Two halves make a whole **_

As of lately, Sasuke had been up to his neck in work that really shouldn't have to be done so early in the morning. However, he picked this path, path of righteousness? He snorted, why did he pick this path? To walk a line he really wouldn't mind altering as he went. Sasuke stood and sauntered over to the window, where he leaned against the wall, looking at nothing in particular, just looking. He noticed his old classmates and how they were running, from what? Their children. Hintata and Kiba, the newly weds of Konha, who had been blessed with twins. The slight of the happy family made his heart ache. He turned.

Ache why? Because, Sasuke will never have the opportunity to have a family. He would never be available in those matters. He breathed in, feeling stressed and as he turned to walk back to his desk, he saw Naruto leaning in the doorway. He was taken aback by this, usually he always hears when Naruto, the natural clumsy idiot, makes his grand appearance. Sasuke found himself melting into a smile as he walked over to the blonde, who straightened at the slight. Naruto saw a grinning man and knew either he was in shit or he was going to be fucked, literally.

As of lately, Naruto had been glancing as the young, married couples in town. Did jealously form from their happiness? Absolutely. But what can a normal guy do about that? Ask out the one who runs this city, the one who can put a death sentence to anyone and not to mention he's a man? Naruto shook his head, he had to be really stupid today, more stupid then usual. He found himself chuckling as Sasuke enclosed the space between them.

Both of them were reminded how long it had actually been since it was just the two of them. Naruto looked up into his dark eyes. His body had grown accustom to his cruel, harsh hands that left bruises most times. However, he had started to crave the bittersweet love that Sasuke offered. Sasuke looked down, not even sure where he wanted to kiss first. He wanted all of Naruto right now; like an addict wanting to fulfill their addiction, now. He wanted to be gentle, so gentle but he ended up giving into temptation. He's aware of the pain Naruto endures for his pleasures, but he never said anything. Sasuke stopped, why didn't he say anything if it hurts?

Sasuke stepped back causing Naruto to snap back to his reality. "What did you need?"

"O-Oh, um," Sasuke waited as Naruto tripped over his words. He closed to his eyes remembering what happened a few days ago.

"Come here." Naruto looked over his shoulder to see Sasuke, naked, under the sheets. Naruto looked down, he was wearing sweats, wanting to eat something. But one look at the brunette gorgeous man, he gave in, doing what he is told. Sasuke flipped him onto his back when Naruto sat on the bed and grinned down at the shocked blonde. "What a good listener." Sasuke chuckled, tarring Naruto's sweats off in one quick movement.

"I'm not-" He started but gritted his teeth as Sasuke nudged him deeply. Naruto gripped the sheets, until his knuckles were white. Sasuke noticed it, swallowed and grabbed his hands to place them around his neck. Naruto blinked as he heard.

"You don't have to take everything on your own anymore." Naruto didn't even know what to say to that, but he held on. Sasuke wasn't always gentle and most times Naruto suffered from it after. But if he really minded he would have said something. He was mostly scared to displease Sasuke, not because of who he is but because he didn't know what they were. "You are not alone anymore," Naruto looked up at Sasuke, the man of very few words. He leaned down to kiss the stunned blonde, gentle at first but he gave into the need. The passion took over, making the boys grab at each other, their nails digging into each other's flesh. Their moans echoing off the walls and coming back to their ears. "You are not alone because I'll always be here with you."

Naruto looked up, heart racing as the Raven's lips smacked against his. A painful pleasurable sting formed as he closed his eyes. He knew this would never last but God he wished it would. Naruto moaned his name against his lips as climax suddenly erupted from both of them that muffled Sasuke's confession.

Naruto breathed in, feeling tears form. "Well, what did you want?" The blonde stared until he suddenly got some courage and walked into Sasuke, kissing him. He bit his lip, tasting him and loving how he took Sasuke completely off guard. Naruto kicked the door closed and they stumbled against his desk, being clumsy and forgetting how to remove their clothes. Naruto pulled back, trying to kneel but Sasuke lifted him back up to continue to kiss him, deeply. He tried to echo his need through this small connection. Naruto breathed his name as the Raven's teeth grazed his neck. Their need for each other was clear to everyone but themselves. How much more do they need to be there for each other for them to miss the signs?

Sasuke pushed Naruto and they fell to the floor, he looked up as Sasuke started to remove his pants then Naruto's. They looked into their eyes for a second until Sasuke leaned down into him, the pressure was there, the pain was present too; but so was something else. Both boys connected together, something they do often but today it felt different.

"Marry me." Sasuke moaned and that snapped Naruto to reality. He stared up into the dark, serious but nervous eyes. "Naruto, marry me."

"But we-I-"

"I don't care what no one thinks, I want you, and if you want me too- then do me the honour of marrying me." Sasuke and Naruto grabbed for each other as climax neared. Naruto moaned his name and Sasuke grunted at the pressure that was provided but they still made love, something different for them. It wasn't savage like, how it was in the beginning, it was much more.

As they both laid on the ground, breathless, Sasuke turned his head to look at the blonde. Naruto looked over and saw the brunette. How his hair fell perfectly, how his body was sculpted too well and how he didn't feel like he deserved him. A single tear rolled down his cheek as he whispered.

"I don't deserve you." Sasuke smiled and reached out to brush his hair back.

"I wouldn't ask you if I don't think you met me half way." Naruto wanted to say a million things but he didn't know what to say. Did he love this man, it was obvious to him and now it was obvious that Sasuke felt the same. But what if he did? Would this would be giving in? He spent a year and half hating but loving this man. Wanting what he had, trying to be better, would this make him equal or ...

"Naruto, I only became what I did so you'd look at me because I wanted to be worthy of you."

Naruto stared at him, really looked at him. Something that took a few moment, looking in the soul, seeing the person. No matter how much Naruto hated the idea, he knew he couldn't live without this childhood friend, enemy and first love.

"When you put it like that, how can I say no?"

Sasuke grinned like a boy and said. "That's because you can't." Naruto's fist went flying but Sasuke straddled him, pinning his wrists and looking down at his idiot. He kept his grin as he said. "I want to hear you say it, please." Naruto lifted slightly as he leaned up and kissed Sasuke's neck as he said.

"Yes, I'll marry you."

-Jun

**This is just an extra, a year and a half later from the last chapter. This was also for my readers and followers because they asked for it! I finally gave in after months of emails. So here you are! I hoped you all enjoyed! :) **


	6. Fearful Desires

_**This is another chapter for another many readers who asked for this. Thank you for your beautiful emails and getting me back in the game! I'll bring the smexy back, soon, promise. For my new readers, enjoy! **_

_** Fearful Desires**_

__Three days. Sasuke paced his office with veins of annoyance daring to pop out of his neck and forehead. It had been three days since Sasuke had heard a word from Naruto since he pored his heart out to that idiot. He turned and glared at the ground he had been staring at for the last hour. He had been up to his neck in work that he really couldn't stay interested in. He had tried and got most of it done, they are lucky he had gotten that much done. He groaned. He missed Naruto, he hated to admit it to himself but he also hated that he proposed to a_ man_. He thought for sure he was over this but he wasn't.

He had managed to hide his desires for Naruto for most of his life with anger, hate and bullying. Look where he is now- the center of attention in Naruto's eyes- The Hokage. What was his thinking- nothing- who was he thinking of...Naruto.

"Fuck!" Sasuke screamed and kicked the side of his desk. It rattled slightly and settled faster then he had hoped. He was going to kill someone soon, that was a report he couldn't _wait_ to fill out.

By the end of the week, Sasuke couldn't take it. Where the hell did that blonde disappear too and did he really think he could? Naruto is mine, Sauske growled to himself so he finally called someone in to hunt him down- if Naruto was lucky, he would be alive. The great and lazy ninja came in, yawning and not really all there.

"Hey, you called me Hokage?" Shikamaru looked about as tired as Sasuke felt. However Sasuke wasn't allowed to show it.

"I want you to find Naruto." Sasuke growled and Shikamaru's eyebrow rose.

"That's all? You want me to find him?"

"For now." Shikamaru nodded as he slowly walked out. Depending what Shikamaru found out would define Naruto's punishment. For his sake, Naruto better hope he was just forgetful.

Shikamaru may be one of the best ninja's around but he was also one of the laziest. He was still stuck on the question of why he married the most active and fearsome woman around- Temari. Of course being with her for nearly five years, given twin daughters and a third child on the way- he didn't have time to act the way he once did. He sighed and as he did, he noticed yellow hair and it couldn't be mistaken for anyone else but Naruto.

He watched Naruto walk the streets, a piece of paper in his hand and determination painted on his face. Shikamaru dragged his feet as Naruto stopped and walked into a store. He looked up to see it's Ino's flower and fabric store. He peeked around the corner to see Ino- long blonde hair still and face glowing from a pre pregnancy that left her left arm preoccupied to a new born son. Naruto spoke and she laughed as she kissed her son's cheek. She then asked what he needed and he placed the paper down. She took it and called out "Dear!" Who then came out. Choji stepped forward who's baby fat melted into muscles and turned into a great warrior. He looked at his wife and took the paper when she waved it. He glanced it, eyes slightly widened and he nodded as he left. Ino grinned and Naruto nodded as he gave another list. She looked down and said.

"We only have those in pink."

"That'll work."

Shikamaru stepped back and jumped on the roof as Naruto came out of the shop in a hurry. Shikamaru watched him walk down the street, head down, reading something. Shikamaru knew that Naruto would never know he was being followed until Shikamaru came out and yelled "I'm following you!" Which made this job way too easy and such a drag.

Naruto fell on his bed with another hard days work. It was hard to mange to avoid Sasuke who never left his office and well, to just avoid him in general. He sighed and dropped his arm across his eyes. He was aching to see Sasuke but he was so scared. He had accepted to marry him but the idea of actually coming to terms with the idea filled him with fear. He breathed in as he looked down and slowly let his hand ran down his stomach into his pants. He breathed Sasuke's name as he gripped himself. How he missed him and his touch.

_"God, you're wet." _Naruto moaned "No" as he moved up slowly and played with the head, feeling the wetness oozing out and over his fingers. _"Are you going to come already?" _Pleasure waved against Naruto's insides as he arched his back to Sasuke's whispering. He felt like he could come but the more he tried, the more he couldn't. _"I won't let you, not until you ask for it." _

"Please." He muttered.

_"_Beg _for it." _But even when Naruto did, he couldn't. He needed Sasuke inside of him, ramming him deeply; filling up his insides with painful pleasures. He groaned as Naruto fell against his pillow. He hadn't come but he was good for now- he could hold out. He did before nearly ten years, he can do it again.

By the second week, Sasuke finally stormed out of his office, right past Sakura. "Hokage, you need-"

Sasuke wiped around. "How do you know what I need?" He barked and Slammed Sakura to the wall, who yelped. Sasuke snarled in anger. "No one ever asks what I need! You know what I need? Why don't you ask me what I need!" Sakura swallowed, unsure if she should or not, but decided she should.

"What do you need?"

"I need Naruto." Sakura searched his face and she whispered.

"Naruto left three days ago." Sasuke's eyes widened as he words.

"Where did he go?!" She jerked at his voice.

"He told me you sent him on a mission and he'd be gone a while." Sasuke punched the wall that left him to yank out his arm and to hied the wounds from Sakura. "Sasuke? Where are you going?" She asked as the Hokage stormed down the hall but he didn't even make it to the front doors as he saw Hinata, Shikamaru, Kiba and Choji all on one knee.

"Where are we to go?" They all asked and he said.

"Find Naruto, now." They all took off as Sasuke went to find Ino.

"I hear you are looking Naruto." She said when he entered her shop. Her foot was rocking the baby craddle as she was making flower enragement. Sasuke leaned against the wall, jacket almost touching the ground and he glared at her.

"Are you going to tell me?"

She didn't turn. "Are you going to make me?" Ino placed a lily on the bunch and started to cut the ends.

"I was hoping I didn't need too."

"Tell me, why are you so obsessed with him?" Sasuke's hands tightened. "Is it because he's weak and easy to manipulate with orders? Or is it because he really wants a family and you really want something to fuck?" Sasuke went to yell at her but she turned, eyes blaring, daring him to wake her baby. "Tell me oh great Hokage."

"I don't think you are in a position to give orders."

"Funny, I was about to say the same thing to you." Sasuke's eyes widened, he never really liked Ino but right now, he had admiration for her. No one stood up to him and maybe he was so used to everyone doing as they were told, he was shocked that someone might dislike him enough to fight him.

"So you're really not going to tell me where he is?" She smiled as she sang.

"Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell you." Ino stopped rocking her baby as she tied the flowers and walked over to him. he expected a thousand things from those flowers but when she stopped, she reached them out to him. "Here." She stared at her then the flowers. "Yes, they are for you, 100 pink roses and ten lilies."

"I don't get it."

She grinned. "Never been tested before?" He looked down at the flowers and saw a note. He grabbed it and turned it over. It was in Naruto's hand writing. He smiled slowly and when he looked up, Ino was bent over her flowers again. He nodded as he whispered "thanks" and he read the card once more before he exited the shop.

_I'll be home soon, promise. _

_ -Naruto _

-Jun


	7. Hit and Miss

_Hey Jun there! Here is some more SasuxNaru for my lovely fans and new readers! Thank you all so much for the compliments you have given me; truly, because of all your endless emails, here I am- writing more for you. Also because my fans have been such a big part of this story I'd like to offer my fans a say in what happens in the story. You have ideas or a craving for something, let me know. :) _

Hit and Miss

There was something strange about an empty office. There was no people with remarks, paper work, annoying demands and no one to order around. Sasuke sat in his chair, elbow resting on the arm of the chair, hand holding up his chin. He was out of it, he was aware. He stared at the closed door, it haunted him now. He waited for someone who wouldn't be walking through it for a while. He shut his eyes as he actually acknowledged his pain. He didn't want to admit he was lonely or sad but he was. Sasuke hasn't been left alone for a long time and today especially he is feeling so alone. He had everyone at his feet, ready to assist him if needed but he only wanted one person who wouldn't be coming.

The vace near the window suddenly smashed and Sasuke opened his eyes at the sound but didn't turn. "What do you need?"

Gaara sat on the window sill, one leg bent as the other hung loosely, swinging back and forward. His deep eyes staring blankly at the ground as his sand swung around his head and danced around the rest of his body. "Where's Naruto?"

"Wouldn't you want to know?" Sasuke growled under his breath and that's when Sasuke dropped his head to the side as a kunai came shooting by his face, hitting the wall across the room. Sasuke glared over his shoulder but Gaara was giving the same look, as he twirled another kunai around his index finger.

"What did you do?" Gaara hissed as he pulled himself to his feet, Sasuke lifted himself up as both Hokage's stared at each other. Gaara gripped his kunai, ready to attack so Sasuke rested his hand on his sword handle.

"I did nothing." Sasuke said, tasting the truth of his words. It was odd for him to tell the cold and hard truth. He did nothing, that he knew of. Naruto is sensitive and sometimes takes things too personal, so if Sasuke did say something, it was over his head. "Think before you start an attack Gaara. The sand and leaf village may be allies in war but can become enemies over night." Gaara's eyes were tossing daggers Sasuke's way but he expected this. Gaara and Naruto share this bond that he would never begin to understand. Underneath both honourable men lies a demon and with the wrong move, it could consume their body and soul.

"Whenever Naruto disappears or his emotions become to much for him to bare, you are _always_ the cause of it, Uchiha Sasuke." Sasuke's eyes widened at the assault of words, it stabbed him deeply. He looked down, unsure of what even to say at that point. "So when I ask where he is, you should know because at the end of day, you are the root of his problems." Sasuke finally found some courage and hissed.

"Problems? What the hell would you know about his problems? I did not kill his parents and I certainly never abandoned him." Gaara's eyes only widened for a second at the memory of his friend at his lowest but then shook his head as he walked to the window, giving Sasuke his back. "I had to deal with watching my own parents be killed by my insane brother."

"At least your parents didn't try to assassinate you every day of your life." Sasuke sat, feeling exhausted already.

"That's not fair."

"No?" Gaara smashed the window with his fist and screamed as he turned. "Not fair because when someone has it a little more messed up then you, you think it's not fair? Life isn't fair Sasuke, you of all people should know that by now." Sasuke rubbed his hands over his face, feeling more rage then sadness finally and he wanted to do nothing more then to slice out Gaara's tongue.

"I don't rule him. He leaves, then he leaves. I don't want to chain him down, make him feel bound to me. I want him to come to me because he wants too, not because I made him." Gaara walked around to get a better look at Sasuke. His head lie low, he looked thinner then he had expected. Sasuke was a mess but did that make Gaara's anger subside? No, it didn't at all but at least Sasuke was at least somewhat serious.

"So what your saying is you love him?" Sasuke's eyes widened as he slowly look up at Gaara who was looking for a serious answer from him. Sasuke closed his eyes and saw Naruto. Stupid Naruto, scared Naruto, shy Naruto, embarrassed Naruto, Naruto, Naruto, Naruto...Sasuke breathed in heavily as he whispered.

"Yes. I love him." Sasuke waited for a reply but when he looked up he saw that Gaara was gone. He stood and ran to the window to see only his people. However, Gaara was here, he had to be. For when Sasuke looked down, the vase was still there lying broken on the floor and when he looked up, he saw his distorted reflection in the cracked window.

In the middle of the mountains lived a woman; so great and looked up too but she couldn't be seen anymore. Her life was slowly consumed by grief and sadness, she couldn't bare to live. However, it did not matter how many times she tried to take her own life, she never died. Somehow, she always woke up and screamed 'Why?'. Why indeed. She was convinced a demon lay inside of her, refusing to let her pass on in peace. Others thought an angel protected her from harm. How foolish, she always thought.

One day the woman heard something outside her window. She looked down, feeling rage feeling her chest. Who dared to even think to come this close to her? She stood, her fist glowing with blue flames that were ready to attack. She walked to her door and just kicked it out and screamed.

"Who ever you are, you better leave or I will kill you!" She tried to sound serious but she sounded more on the verge of tears. However, someone still walked and slowly came up and over a rock she built to hide her house from curious eyes. She screamed as she tossed her rage at the rock that exploded and the body jumped to avoided it.

"Hey! It's me!" She was ready for one more blow but stopped as she looked at the body. He pulled himself up to his true height and pulled off his mask that revealed blonde locks and blue eyes.

"N-Naruto?" He smiled and her flames slowly faded as he walked to her and hugged her against him. She opened her mouth to show protest but instead she dropped her head against his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him. "Is it really you...?"

He laughed. "Yes, it really is me Tsunade."

"So how did you find me?" Tsunade asked as she sat down, giving Naruto a cup of tea and a snack, in which he ate greedily.

"Really, how much of a moron do you think I am?"

"Is that really a question?" Naruto glared but swallowed and lifted a sheet of paper between his index and middle fingers. Tsunade grabbed it and opened it. As her eyes searched the sheet, she stood and tossed it in the fireplace. "How did..."

"Kakashi left me years ago, shortly after you did. I guess he wanted to make sure I had someone." She nodded and Naruto looked at her. She did not look young or youthful as she did before. She looked her true age, wrinkled and white hair. Naruto made no comment on it, even if he wanted too. She looked sick and he saw the scars upon her wrists. When she noticed him looking, she pulled her sleeve down. "So how are you?"

She laughed. "Do I look that ill to you?" Naruto kept staring and she stopped as she returned sitting. "I lost him Naruto, I can't end my suffering, how do you think I am?"

"I loved him too."

"But not how I did. He was your father figure, I get it, I do; but Jiraiya was the love of my life. Even when I refused to admit it to myself, he was, no is. He will always be the love of my life." Naruto felt a lump form in his throat and she knew it. "In a few weeks will mark the day he has been gone ten years." She coughed but he knew it was to cover a sob.

"I know that." She glanced his way. "I was hoping I could ask a huge favour from you." She sat up more. "In Jiraiya's place, I need a favour from you."

"Then can't it be anyone? Kakashi was close to him as well." Naruto shook his head and whispered.

"It has to be you. You said it yourself, he is the love of your life, which is why it _has_ to be you Tsunade. Please." She sighed, feeling pity biting at her flesh.

"Alright, it better be good." Naruto smiled as he leaned in and beckoned Tsunade to come closer. When she did, he whispered something and her eyes slowly widened as a smile crept across her wrinkled face.

-Jun


	8. Lover's Past

_Hey everyone! Had a few requests and ideas and I promise I'll use them as quickly as I can:) You all are amazing for your endless comments and emails! Thank you! Here is more for you, sorry it isn't all that exciting ... yet;) _

**Lover's past**

Sasuke finally had the strength to leave his office, in which he has slept, ate and worked at for nearly three months with no word of Naruto. He stepped around the corner and saw Kiba and Hinata with their twins. Rage was trying to ripple through his skin but he couldn't manage to fully act that emotion. He was just tired of being angry, hurt and just wanted to shut down but wasn't allowed that luxury. Hinata noticed Sasuke before Kiba did. She saw how he was half leaning against the pillar and with a blank expression on his face. She sighed and kissed her son's forehead and released his hand and stalked over to Sasuke.

He didn't notice her until she said "Good afternoon Hokage." He blinked and moved his eyes to her soft face. He looked at her stomach, to see it has swelled slightly.

"Good afternoon, are you pregnant?" She nodded. "Congratulations," He didn't smile like a normal person would have and she stepped closer to him. He watched as she took his hands and squeezed slightly.

"It will get better." His eyes narrowed and she looked down, still shy at eye contact. "I know you do not believe me but I did date Naruto for a year when we were much younger. When he broke it off with me, I didn't believe anyone that it gets better but it does." He looked past her to see her family. Kiba had both twins in his arms and was bouncing them but staring hard at them. He looked back at Hinata, who kept her head down.

"He didn't break up with me." Hinata's head jerked up and he now knew she didn't know they were together but rather she thought this was a friendship relationship. She swallowed, still after all these she was still hung up on him, he felt a little better.

"I-I didn't mean it that way..." She whispered and he nodded as he forced her to release his hands.

"Of course you didn't." Then he walked off.

Not far off from Konoha was a small house, nothing to be too proud of. The roof did sometimes leak and there was a slight draft from the windows but it was still someone's home. Behind the door was a man sitting at the table. He was reading and trying to keep the task of eating as well. He missed his mouth a few times but that didn't even make him blink or move away from the words of his book. Behind the man came another person who leaning over him and kissed his neck.

"Good morning," The new comer purred and the bookworm slightly closed his book, a very rare occasion as he turned to kiss his initiator better. The bookworm was not as he seemed. Even with messy silver hair and wrinkled clothes, he is a perfectionist; making sure that every sound his dark haired companion made was true and breathless. When the dark haired gripped his shirt, he knew he was doing something right- it was very rare he did something wrong. Especially since it has been ten years. He knew his dark haired beauty pretty well by now.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and both pulled back from each other. The dark haired went to answer the door but the bookworm stopped him. He looked back as he heard. "I'll take care of this," The dark haired stared as the nerd gently said, "And you take care of _that_." He looked down a blush painted his face as he pulled back and stalked to the bathroom. The man chuckled slightly as he pulled himself to his feet to answer the door but his laughter was halted as he blinked. "W-hat.. how? What are you doing here?"

Laughter flooded out the guest's mouth as he said. "Oh come on, I'm not the dumb idiot I once was, I can figure out where my two sensei's live by now, Kakashi."

Naruto sat at Kakashi's table and saw the book he was reading. "So...still after all these reading those books?" He noticed what Naruto was asking about and picked it up and put it in his back pocket. Naruto found himself laughing as Kakashi finally sat down after bringing sandwiches and tea for them both.

"Where's Iruka?" He asked and Kakashi grinned as he went to take a sip of his tea.

"Taking a shower." Naruto nodded, not getting it. Kakashi chuckled as he thought was Naruto wasn't the same dumb idiot he once was... "So what brings you out here?"

"Well, I could ask the same question." He replied as he took a bite out the sandwich and washed it down with green tea. Naruto leaned forward on his elbows and said. "You left ten years ago then Iruka left shortly after you. I find out many years later where you guys live, together may I add, and my only question is why?" Kakashi looked off and then back at his tea. His reply right on the tip of his tongue but suddenly, someone else cut him off.

"Because we are in love." Naruto looked over as he saw Iruka, dressed, hair still wet and standing in the doorway of the kitchen. "We moved out here, told no one because we are in love and at first we were scared of anyone finding out. However, I don't care if the whole world knows that I am in love with my first love." Kakashi found himself smiling and happiness swelling in his chest. Iruka came over to the table and sat beside Kakashi and stared at Naruto; maybe they were waiting for a hateful reply. But Naruto didn't have any of the sort.

"That's great." Iruka and Kakashi leaned forward and said together.

"That's great?" Naruto nodded.

"Yup, great. My two favourite sensei's are together. That made the hunting you two down even easier." Somehow, they did not expect this, even from Naruto who loved them deeply. They found themselves smiling as Naruto returned it. "Are you two married?" They shook their heads together and Kakashi said.

"We are older now, Iruka is thirty seven and I'm thirty nine. We have lived together for ten years and got together three years before we ran away together. Marriage was never on the list of our things to do. We just wanted to be together." Naruto nodded. "Why is that such an important question?" Naruto jerked his head up and widened his eyes.

"It's not."

"Is so." The teachers said in unison. Naruto found his head dropped so Iruka got up and walked over to rest a hand on his shoulder. "It's ok if it is. You are now twenty five, Naruto, you are the rightful age to be thinking of such things now." Kakashi agreed from across the table but Naruto shook his head as he pressed his hands to his face and slowly started to cry. Iruka bent down to hold him.

"I can't... I'm not good enough. I'm trying to come to terms with marriage but every time I think about it, I run."

"Well are you in love with this person?" Naruto's eyes widened as the thought of 'love' and he knew he was. He nodded so Iruka pulled back and crouched down. "Then why are you so scared? It is ok not to feel good enough for the person. I always feel never good enough for Kakashi."

"But you are." Iruka looked over at Kakashi with pure love and gave Naruto his attention again. Kakashi jumped in then. "Take it from me," Naruto looked up as Kakashi had up and moved in front of him and was leaning against the table. "Iruka and you are in the same boat. You both don't feel good enough, but reality, you both are. If she wants to marry you, it is because she thinks you are good enough."

"He..." Kakashi and Iruka both said "Pardon?" Naruto cleared his throat and said a little louder. "You said she but it is not a she, it's a he."

"Sasuke?" Kakashi whispered and Naruto started to blush. "Your first love?" Naruto's eyes started to water as he nodded. "He asked you to marry him?" Naruto nodded again as his bottom lip began to quiver. "And what did you say?" Finally Naruto's tears flowed down his cheeks, one after another and he whispered.

"Yes."

"Then why are you here?" Naruto looked down as Iruka squeezed his shoulder a little. Naruto wiped his face as he said.

"I'm scared to be with him. He is so great and I'm not." Kakashi shook his head and grabbed his book from his back pocket and smacked Naruto on the head. Naruto muttered that hurt as he placed both hands on his head and Kakashi sang.

"Have you been listening to what I have been telling you? You are good enough. He wouldn't pursue you, a man especially, if you were not good enough or if you didn't meet his standards. You are a dumb idiot." Naruto kept his hands on the top of his head and his head low as he agreed to Kakashi. "I was hoping you came here for a nice visit. Telling me you are having a child or just had one. It is nice to hear you are engaged but I'd rather hear we are invited; I don't really like all your negative." Naruto chuckled slightly and Kakashi was ready to hit him again but as Naruto kept his head low, he added.

"Well... there was one more thing I wanted to tell you both."

-Jun


	9. I want Crazy

_To all my readers; thank you all again for your endless emails! You are all the best! I also got some criticising emails which I also take as a positive for it just makes me wanna try more! Also for the ones that sent me some advice to improve, thank you, because I will use it:) Enjoy :)_

**I want crazy**

Naruto woke with a headache and he couldn't remember how that came to be. He sat up from his bed, which was a hard wood floor. He rubbed his eyes slightly and stretched and looked around for something familiar to remind him where he was. Naruto pulled himself to his feet and looked out the door way to see Kakashi sitting at the kitchen table.

"Good morning," Was what he said before Naruto could even mutter any kind of greeting. Naruto stepped out and his teacher turned to smile at him. "We packed you a couple meals so you won't starve as you go back to Konoha. Naruto opened his mouth to protest but Kakashi cut him off. "You know what you have to do; if that means meeting him half way or rejecting him, then you do what you have to do. You are not some little kid anymore, Naruto, you are twenty five now. You can't reply on us anymore, you make the choice." Kakashi stood, tucking his book in his back pocket and closing the space between Naruto and himself.

Naruto look up at his teacher, feeling both nervous and scared to even make eye contact. However Kakashi made him meet eyes. Naruto breathed out as he was faced with what he needed to do. "Look." he heard Kakashi say. "Marriage isn't a game. If you have any doubts at the beginning then don't do it. Many people make the mistake of wanting to fit in so badly, they forget to keep in mind of their own happiness. Naruto, remember, it is not just you in this, it is also another human being- Sasuke. He deserves a rightful answer from you, so do that. It is better to break his heart now then later. Do you understand me?" Naruto found himself nodding and Kakashi pulled him into a hug. "I will tell Iruka you said goodbye, I would wake him but he gets emotional."

"I get it," Naruto said, half chucking as he gently pulled himself out of the hug and walked himself to the door.

"Oh one more thing!" Kakashi yelled as Naruto turned to listen to the request. "Do tell the Hokage I will be stopping by." Naruto nodded but knew he didn't want to see Sasuke himself, but rather to make sure Naruto did as he was told. For Kakashi had done this in the past. He played with a girl's heart he did not love and he broke her beyond repair.

"I'll let him know," Was all Naruto said before he softly closed the door behind him.

Sasuke was again found leaning against the window sill for the third day in a row. He just wanted to make sure he didn't miss a thing. He was of course watching out for his people but was making sure he kept a look out for Naruto. He had called off a search for Naruto two months ago for all his people did have families and even if they swore to serve and protect, Sasuke knew they needed to serve and protect their families as well. He pressed his forehead against the window and sighed. He would be lying if he even allowed himself to think he didn't miss Naruto. He closed his eyes, he hurt. His heart felt like it was tearing in two. He wanted Naruto back and the only reason he hadn't torn this city and anyone who stood in his way apart is because Naruto promised he would return. Of course that was three months ago, so did he still believe Naruto would come back?

Sasuke opened his eyes to the sound of knocking at the door. "Sakura, I told you, don't bother me unless it is important." Sakura cleared her throat but Sasuke didn't turn. He had bad posture and his hair was wild and greasy. He needed to shower and maybe even eat. She couldn't tell how much weight he had lost because of his loose clothing he did wear, but she could tell he lost some.

"Hokage-Sama, this may be a little important." Sasuke turned and his eyes widened to see not only Sakura but Naruto. He stepped forward but stopped, scared this was a dream but Sakura smiled as she excused herself. Naruto stepped towards Sasuke as he gently closed the door. Naruto looked flushed, maybe he was dehydrated, Sasuke didn't move but he wanted too.

Naruto noticed the health Sasuke was at. He had lost a lot of weight and dark bags hung under his eyes from lack of sleep. How much did he sleep since he had been gone? Naruto hesitated but walked forward slightly to see Sasuke was three shades paler then he had left Sasuke at. The blonde couldn't believe how sick his dark haired beauty let himself get; his lack of hygiene was noticeable and Naruto didn't care at all.

"You're back." Sasuke whispered, half unsure of what he was even saying. Naruto nodded, as he reached out and touched the Hokage's face. They searched each other's eyes as he whispered.

"I promised I would be."

Sasuke pushed Naruto onto the couch and by the time he could even bounce once, Sasuke descended on him. Their scent filled each other's nostrils and they tried to kiss but seemed to miss their mouths. Their need for each other was too much and they seemed to act like two young teens doing it for their first time. However, this wasn't the first time Naruto fell into Sauske's embrace but for some reason, it felt different. Maybe because there was actually feeling in it that made Naruto moan the raven's name without him even touching the shy ninja.

Sasuke looked down at Naruto and knew, he wasn't the first one to trace down kisses on his chest, or bite his lip- to see him naked but he was preparing himself to be Naruto's last. He wanted to make sure he carved his name into Naruto's skin, body, bones; so this time, he could never leave. Naruto looked up through tear filled eyes as Sasuke kissed him, deeply. Which left them both breathless and attacking each other's clothing. They didn't care if they tore buttons off or ripped fabric. They wanted to feel the connection of two naked bodies pressed against each other as quickly as possible.

When the Hokage finally tore off Naruto's last bit of clothing, he stared, making sure he got this scene in his head just right. Naruto was blushing and breathing hard as Sasuke leaned down. He pressed himself against his partner and whispered.

"Please, become all mine." He waited for a reply but when Naruto just wrapped his arms around Sasuke's neck, he thought that meant to give it all he got. Naruto grunted at the feeling of stretched flesh and breathed in as he didn't want to scream bloody murder. Sasuke moved slowly, allowing Naruto to catch his breath and to ease his way through the pain. Sasuke had never been the bottom so he could only image how the pain of three months of no preparation might feel.

"Are you alright?" Sasuke whispered against Naruto's neck but he watched his blonde nod franticly and burry his face into Sasuke's neck.

"Yes...move, please. I want to feel you inside of me. Please." Sasuke smiled, how could he say no to that? He moved and Naruto bit his lip as the pleasure was out numbering the pain but still; he was sort of regretting what he had said. But the movement soon got smoother and Naruto fell into the rhythm. He moaned Sasuke's name as dug his nails into his back.

Sasuke attacked Naruto's mouth with savage and desperate kisses. Their tongues tangling and intertwining into each other's mouths. Their need for one another could not be met in one night but their feelings might be echoed through their connection.

"I love you." Sasuke looked down as he heard the panting voice and noticed blue eyes that pored tears. "Sasuke, I love you; I'm sorry it took so long for me to admit it." Sasuke managed a smile as he kissed Naruto's forehead and whispered breathlessly.

"No, don't be. I'm just glad you came to terms with it."

And with that, climax slowly erupted from both of them, but once was defiantly not enough. For they both knew what they wanted. They wanted something wild and yet soft, something exciting but yet something they can depend on for years to come. They wanted love but they also wanted crazy.

-Jun


	10. Operation say yes part I

_Thank you my fans and new fans for staying committed so long:) You all are the best! Also thank you for the extra ideas:) _

**Operation say yes Part I **

When Naruto woke up, he found himself squished between a couch arm and a body; Sasuke. He rolled over slightly and rested his hand on Sasuke's exposed hip and just looked at him. He was absolutely out cold, softly snoring. Sasuke had an arm underneath Naruto's head and the other resting now on his rib. The blonde gently reached out to brush some of his black hair out of his lover's face and that's when he froze. _Lover, _he thought and found himself smiling, that had a nice ring to it. Naruto kissed his cheek and tried to get up without disturbing him but that didn't work.

Before Naruto was even sitting up, Sasuke's eyes opened as he grabbed him to push Naruto back down against him. "Where are you going? Did I do something wrong? Are you leaving me? Please don't leave me again, please." Naruto blinked several times before he could even comprehend what just happened. He was still half a sleep so it startled him to know that Sasuke was wide awake and ready for anything. Naruto wished he had that switch in him but unfortunately he was not a morning person, unlike Sasuke, who had to be. Naruto smiled slowly as he said.

"I'm not leaving you."

"Then where were you going?" He accused and that made Naruto only grin harder as his silliness.

"The bathroom." Sasuke nodded then, releasing Naruto, who then stood but looked back at his dark haired beauty. Naruto saw Sasuke trying to hide his worry, so he bent down and kissed Sasuke's cheek. Sasuke's eyes widened as his idiot said,

"I love you, I'll be right back."

As Naruto tip toed to Sasuke's private bathroom, the raven was left alone with his thoughts. He closed his eyes as a smile formed at his lips, he is happy, anyone with eyes could see it. After so many years after Sasuke's entire family was murdered and in return Sasuke murdered his brother for vengeance, no one thought he'd heal. No one especially thought he'd be where he is now, Sasuke opened his eyes. He didn't think he'd be here either. Hokage of a city he once abandoned to seek vengeance, loved by all when it was easier to hate him and engaged to the love of his life who he once left alone when he needed Sasuke the most.

However, he knew he didn't deserve anything he was given but he was too selfish to give any of it up. For he knew if he did, what would Naruto think of him? And he is too scared to do what Naruto did; to just up and leave to find the answer, the closure he needs to move on. Sasuke couldn't do that, he was needed here and he knew Naruto is want he wants. He has wanted him since he understood what love really meant. If it was what to him, Sasuke would lock Naruto away from the world so no one could ever have him but him. But if he became that selfish then he'd lose Naruto, which is why he never wants Naruto to feel chained to him. He wants Naruto to come to him because he wants too. So that is why Sasuke says little with his mouth but more with his eyes.

Naruto was always better at reading and understanding body language anyway.

It wasn't long after that Naruto was kidnapped. Of course Sasuke wasn't worried because he organized it. After all the hell they have been through, Sasuke decided he would do one thing right; they would both have bachelor parties. But because they both shared the same friends and life styles, it was hard to plan such a thing so Sasuke decided he didn't need one. He was completely fine with it because he did have lots of work to catch up on that he had neglected when Naruto went missing. So Naruto was taken by Kiba, Choji, Gaara and Shikamaru.

All of them were already married, expect Gaara, who's long time girlfriend had passed away six years ago in war. She was a nice sand villager that treated Gaara how he should be treated and always was there for him, even on the battle field when she jumped in the way to take the attack that was meant for him. However even after all that pain, Gaara still came out to celebrate a guy's night out, Naruto was so relieved.

"Drink up!" Kiba cheered as Choji pored them and they all clinked cups in Naruto's name. "Here is to a good night and to the last man standing!" Naruto gave him a look as he chuckled. "Once you are married, there is no going back."

"That's for damn sure," Shikamaru muttered but shut up after he noticed Gaara playing with his kunai. Choji chuckled and pored everyone another round, after everyone downed it, Naruto spoke up.

"Do you guys actually enjoy your married lives?" They all looked over but Gaara. Naruto played with his empty cup before he said. "You all make it sound bad." The guys laughed as Kiba cheered in.

"I love being married, Naruto. I love being a husband and a father. I wouldn't change it for the world. Of course I miss being single and doing what or who ever I want, but where I am now, it is a good place for someone in my age." Choji nodded in agreement.

"I agree with Kiba. Single was fun when we were in our teens, but the married life is the best, especially if its with someone you truly love." Naruto looked down, feeling his gut tighten. "And what you are feeling is just marriage jitters." Naruto laughed as he finally knew all his friends could see how nervous he is about getting married. Of course Sasuke and Naruto plan to wait a few more months because they have to go by Sasuke's schedule but that gave Naruto more time to think. Think about what? Well, the obvious one, marriage to a man; he could handle that but what about children... He wanted children but how would they get there? Choji pored him another drink.

"Don't worry about having or not having children Naruto." He looked over at the quiet soul, Gaara, as he read Naruto's mind. He still hadn't had his first drink as he sat in the corner. His head was down, knees bent and eyes lost somewhere between reality and dreams. "My girlfriend was unable to have so we ended up never having, even though she wanted me to get a sergeant when we married. I know she would have been happier having a little bundle of giggles running around the house but after she was murdered, I'm glad we didn't. In that moment, if a child was around, it would have killed me." Gaara looked over as they shared a same stare down. Even after six years, Gaara was still mourning his girlfriend that he was only engaged too for a year and a half but he declared it was true love.

"Thank you." Was all Naruto could manage before there was a knock at the door. Everyone looked and suddenly it opened and female dancers came in. All the guys were ready for some entertainment besides Gaara and Naruto. "Where did these woman come from?" He asked anyone who was still listening and one of the girls answered.

"They are complementary of the hotel, Sir, are you the soon to be married man?" Naruto cracked a slow smile as she leaned forward to say. "We have a special surprise for you." Naruto nodded as he let her led him out of the room and down the hall. Naruto looked back and over his shoulder, he was starting to feel guilty. He shouldn't because Sasuke would never know what he would be doing but its the idea if he can't freely tell Sasuke is what makes him realize he is doing something wrong.

However she pushed him into the room, which had one single chair, a carpet and the paint on the walls were a light blue. He turned and saw someone leaning against the door. "I don't think I should be doing this." He said and the person stepped forward. He blinked and before he knew it, the person was gone; thinking the person left after hearing the protest. He looked around and gasped when suddenly the room went black. His hands went up to his eyes to feel something soft over them. He tried to pull it off but someone was tugging at his clothes. Naruto flung his hands forward. "No, stop, this isn't-"

"Shh," The soft hushing voice ran shivers over his body as he whispered.

"Sasuke?" He reached out and felt skin sliding over his hands. Naruto let his hands tighten around his torso as he kissed Sasuke's neck. "You smell good." Sauske's rich laughter filled the room as he said.

"Thank you." Sasuke pushed him back and Naruto landed on the chair.

"What are you doing?" Asked the blind man and Sasuke walked over to kneel down.

"Me? I'm giving you a special surprise." Naruto went to say he didn't need too but suddenly a warmth fluttered over his exposed stomach. "Lift your hips." Naruto did as he was told, feeling the fabric expose more skin that was bitten by the breeze in the room. He went to say something but gasped as Sasuke started to slowly lick his entire length. He gripped the edge of the chair, trying to handle what Sasuke was doing to him. Sauske looked up as he buried Naruto's flesh into his mouth. He bobbed up and down a few times, watching as Naruto tipped his head back as his breathing came out in short gasps. Sasuke tried not to smile but one formed anyway, if only Naruto knew how sexy he was. Sasuke released him slowly and asked. "Feels good?"

Naruto nodded. "Yes." Sasuke bent back down licked from base to head and watched him shutter. "I might come soon..." He blushed but it could still be easily seen in the darkness of the room. Sasuke smiled again as he whispered.

"Come as many times as you want; I am at your mercy."

A few weeks after that party that all the guys enjoyed, even Sasuke, Sasuke allowed himself and Naruto a night out, just the two of them. For God only knows they both needed it. As they walked down the street, everyone greeted Naruto saying "Welcome back" and a more formal greeting towards Sasuke. He didn't mind, he just moved in closer to Naruto; Naruto noticed this from time to time and finally grabbed Sasuke's hand who jumped at this gesture. He looked down as Naruto tangled his fingers through his. He slowly looked up and over at Naruto, who was smiling back.

"Don't be jealous, I'm right here with _you_." Sasuke looked down, feeling the heat rush to his pale cheeks and Naruto kissed his temple as they kept walking.

"I want to marry you." Sasuke suddenly said and Naruto looked over at him. Sasuke looked away but added. "I proposed because I want too, and you said yes because-"

"Because I want too as well." Sasuke grinned and Naruto laughed. "I don't care if we are both men, it has always been you. Even when I tried to be normal, I knew," Sasuke peeked at Naruto thorough his hair as Naruto dramatically raised his hand. "What the hell am I doing? Women are beautiful but that's not what I want, or who I want." Sasuke felt another smile forming as Naruto looked his way.

"Sorry we rushed into this..."

"What do you mean?" Sasuke looked forward to see Ino and Choji walking. They were smiling at each other and with no baby with them. Were they having date night too?

"We never dated. We just loved secretly and then I forced you to have sex with me then I proposed and you ran away to figure things out then we have a bachelor party." Sasuke shook his head. "That's not right, you deserve better."

"I don't want better Sasuke, I want you. Get that through your thick skull." Sasuke's eyes widened as his wording and how he actually said it pretty sharply. Naruto stopped walking so Sasuke followed suit. "Maybe your right, we didn't do what was normal of us, but I don't want normal. I don't mind doing this all backwards or maybe not even in order. What I like is that all the hell we have been through, we are here, engaged, happy. At least I'm happy, are you happy?" Sasuke nodded in agreement.

"I'm happy."

Naruto smiled as he then pressed a finger under Sasuke's chin to make him look his way. Sasuke looked up into those blue eyes that had him captured from day one. He could melt into them all over again like he does every day. "Then stop doubting yourself. A wise man once told me, even when you think you are not good enough, reality is, you are. He wouldn't pursue you, a man especially, if you were not good enough or if you didn't meet his standards." Sasuke nodded again and Naruto kissed him softly.

"Can you do me one favour?" Sasuke asked and Naruto nodded as he grinned. Sasuke breathed out as a smile came back to face. He caressed Naruto's cheek, fingers hidden in his hair. "Can you love me always, even when I least deserve?" Sasuke lacked the confidence to show all his guts so he thought he'd show this part of himself, "For that's when I'll need it most." He wasn't ready to be fully venerable.

"Of course I will. I will always love you, even if you give me a thousand reason to leave, I will always look for that one reason to stay." Sasuke yanked him into a hug so tight, he feared he could crush Naruto entirely and he was about to release him, until Naruto hugged him back. "To the world, you look like unbreakable stone but to me, you are still so venerable," Sasuke's eyes widened as he tried to hard to seem so strong for not only the city but for Naruto. "Even the protector needs to fall apart and when you do, I'll protect you." Sasuke pressed his chin on top of Naruto's yellow mess and closed his eyes. If this is happiness...he never wanted to wake up.

On a Saturday, six months later, Naruto stood in front of a mirror. Even though the day was night, sunny and not a cloud in the sky his heart was in his throat and he kept adjusting his clothes. His hair was a wild mess that couldn't be tamed, he wished for one day it would though. He gave up on it after ten minutes. Naruto found himself pacing the room and his palms became sweaty. He didn't want to look at the time but he found himself doing it anyway. He wanted to breathe normally but he was almost hyperventilating. Suddenly a knock at the door broke him out of his thoughts and he made a mad dash for it.

"You owe me twenty dollars, Iruka, he is totally freaking out," Kakashi said as he walked in and Iruka followed right after. Kakashi looked around at the mess and back to Naruto. "So... what did you lose?"

"My mind!" Naruto screamed and grabbed his face. "I don't think I can do this after all." Iruka and Kakashi shared a look and smiled at each other. Iruka walked to him and grabbed his shoulders.

"Breathe first, then talk." Naruto did as he was told by Iruka.

"I'm so nervous... being with him is so easy but now to marry him in front of all my friends- that is testing my nerves right now." Naruto stepped back and walked to the window of his apartment. He peeked out to see more people walking by to where he would soon be married. Naruto almost puked then.

"That's a attractive," Kakashi muttered as Naruto gagged and Iruka glared up at him and elbowed Kakashi in the stomach. "What I meant to say Naruto is you know what you want." Naruto nodded and tried to stand. "We will be there every step of the way." He tried to smile.

"Especially to stop you from running," Iruka muttered and Kakashi elbowed him in the stomach. Naruto walked to them and nodded as he kept his eyes low. He was ready, he was but just a bucketful of nerves.

"Ok, well... I guess we better get going." Naruto smiled as he finally looked at both of his teachers and shrugged, none of them convinced that he was. "Wouldn't want to be late for my own wedding." Kakashi and Iruka shared a look and chuckled as they held the door open for Naruto who walked through. As he looked down the hall he knew his parents would be truly proud to know he found happiness where he never expected too.

-Jun


	11. Operation say yes part II

_ The end is so near, can't you just taste it? I'm feeling pretty bittersweet right now. Also, warning to all but this is a yaoi story- meaning there is boy loving. If you all couldn't tell from the first chapter, I can get down and dirty with the words; So this is your warning. I had a few people that were shocked of what I put in the last chapter, but I thought in the beginning when they were not dating that it was much dirtier. Sorry if I offended anyone but please enjoy and as always, thank you for all the review and your compliments! _

**Operation Say Yes II**

Sasuke stood in front of his mirror, fixing his tie. His face stayed stone like, not showing an inch of his emotions he kept bottled up inside. His dark eyes stared at his hair, it was business in the front and a party in the back, just as it has always been. He checked himself out, tucking his shirt in, until it lay straight against his stomach. He looked at his socks and wiggled his toes a bit. Then he turned away as he grabbed his jacket. He pulled it on and looked at himself in the mirror again, side view. He was going to puke. He was so nervous, beads of sweat formed on his forehead, he wiped them away with the back of his hand.

He looked down as he pulled his shoes on and closed his eyes. He has no family. His reality pounded against his skull. He had no cousins that would cheer him on as he got ready, he had no uncles to give him marriage advice or aunts to fix his clothing. He had no siblings that would be there as his best man or anything; but most of all, he had no parents that would echo their pride from their faces with smiles to him. He had no one; but Naruto. When he looked up, Sasuke finally smiled, that was enough for him. Naruto had always been enough.

As Sasuke walked to the door to leave, he stopped. But if he wanted, he could run away. He could order everyone around with no responsibilities of family. No one to tie him down or hurt him or even leave him. He would never have to feel the disappointment of a family member not being there for him or being killed in action. He would just have the faint reminders of who he lost and miss them. He was opening his heart and giving Naruto all the power to destroy him but trusting him not too. Naruto could run away too, if he wanted. Of course Sasuke would hunt him down for he knows, if he can't have Naruto...no one can. But Naruto wants him, he hopes. He found himself smiling as he pulled the door open as he finally locked his past away, for good.

The temple was perfect, so was the weather. Everyone had gathered for the famous wedding of a Hokage and a warrior. What made this so special was that these boys were well known as one being wreck less idiot and a dangerously talented ninjas. Sasuke was already standing at the front of the temple, hands crossed in front of him as he watched everyone fall in. He held his breath whenever someone walked in, thinking it would Naruto.

"Nervous?" Sasuke heard someone say and he turned to see Kakashi slipping from behind him to stand near him. His eyes widened as he thought he'd never see his old teacher again. Kakashi smiled, the fabric pulled slightly and Sasuke blinked a few more times. "What, you missed me that much that my presence left you speechless?" Sasuke shook his head and found a smile crawl across his face.

"How'd you know I was getting married?" Kakashi laughed at Sasuke's foolish question.

"How'd you not know I'd find out?" Sasuke's gut turned as he tried to put two and two together.

"Did... no, he's not that smart." Kakashi bellowed a laugh that cause some to look his way but he didn't care. Sasuke slightly jumped at the sound as his old teacher shook his head.

"That's what I thought too, but Naruto is just full of surprises. Well, you'd know that better then I would." Sasuke found himself blushing a little as Kakashi giggled a little more as the last child finally found his seat. Kakashi nudged him as Sasuke's heart jumped into his throat. "So are you ready?"

Sasuke stared forward as he heard the echo of the wind charms. His hands became sweaty as he stared where soon he would see Naruto come out of. He swallowed hard as he whispered. "I'll let you know."

Iruka turned to see Naruto had stopped. Tsunade had her arm knitted through his as he came to a stop. "What's wrong, nervous?" Naruto nodded a little but stepped forward before he stopped again.

"I hate these shoes." Was all he said before Iruka smiled and stepped out into the sun. He walked slowly, hoping that would give Naruto enough time to keep calm and collect himself. Did he believe the worry wart would? No. Naruto looked up in question. "Do you think I should change them?" Tsunade wrapped her arm tighter around his and he looked her way; she looked pretty even though she showed her true age. He smiled slightly as he knew Jiraiya could see him and the choice he had made. Was he scared out of his mind, yes. Did that stop him from coming this far, no.

"Are you ready?" Tsunade asked but Naruto just closed his eyes as he heard Sasuke's voice...

"Naruto? Are you ready?" The blonde's eyes widened as he looked up at Sasuke; he was shirtless, as usually. His eyes showed worry and Naruto wanted to smile but he knew this wasn't the time. He reached up to grab his lover's face and pulled him closer. Sasuke's chest touched his own, Naruto could feel his heart beat; it was skipping and jumping as his breath quickened. But when he looked as Sasuke's face, it was still, stone like as always. Naruto found himself searching his face, loving his dark eyes, his raven hair and his pale skin; he looked like a perfect doll. Naruto buried his face into the crook of his neck, inhaling his musky scent as he nodded.

Sasuke nudged the opening as Naruto held his breath, preparing for the pain. He dug his nails into Sasuke's flesh, who grunted as he pushed forward. Sasuke looked at Naruto's profile, as he clung to Sasuke for dear life. The raven moved Naruto's legs more apart and to wrap around his narrow waist. Naruto was breathing slowly, like he had taught his silly virgin blonde to do. He moved a bit more, listening to Naruto's voice, making sure they were moans of pleasure, not pain.

"More." Naruto whispered against his neck and Sasuke's eyes widened as Naruto squeezed him closer, moving his hips only a bit before Sasuke sat back, taking Naruto with him. They looked at each other, that's usually how Sasuke liked it. However his blonde blushed and covered his face which erupted a chuckle from Sasuke. He grabbed Naruto's hands so he could look at his face.

"Don't hide, I want to see you."

"You can see me." Naruto said, muffled behind his hands and Sasuke smiled more.

"I want to see your face and the happiness that forms as I pleasure you." Naruto's hands tightened against his face, great, Sasuke had embarrassed him.

"Don't laugh.." Sasuke looked up at him as Naruto slowly lowered his hands and the moonlight from behind Sasuke made him see his blonde's blush that lit up his whole face.

"Why would I laugh?" Sasuke asked as he hugged Naruto closer.

"Because you always laugh." Sasuke chuckled and the stopped himself. "You mock me and make fun of me and..."

Sasuke grabbed his lips with his own, taking his words away and making him breathless with a kiss. Sasuke dug his fingers into Naruto's silk hair as he grabbed it and tugged a little. Naruto moaned slightly and when Sasuke pulled away he looked into the icy blue eyes that were misty with tears.

"If I ever laugh at you it is because I think you are so unbearably cute that you leave me absolutely speechless." Naruto went to cover his face but when Sasuke thrust into him, Naruto grabbed Sasuke's shoulders to steady himself. "If I ever mock you it is because your silliness is new to me and I'm still learning how to not be so serious." Sasuke wrapped his arms around Naruto as he grinded against his blushing boy. "And if I ever make fun of you, it is because you take me off guard so many times a day with your corniness that I just want to make you laugh in return." Naruto tried to roll his eyes at the last one but Sauske wouldn't let him for he wanted Naruto to feel so good that he had no time to react to anything else. "You have cute flaws; my flaws are evil."

"W-What are they-" He gasped as Sasuke worked harder and Naruto dropped his forehead against Sasuke, gasping and nearly screaming his name. Sauske smiled.

"I am controlling because I want you around. I am cruel because I want to carve my name into your soul. I am demanding because I need you but most of all..." Naruto opened his eyes finally as Sasuke stopped to grab his face. Sasuke searched his face as he whispered. "I am selfish because I want you to love me, to put only me into your heart. And love me like I'm your first, your last and that you can't live without me." Naruto smiled gently at Sasuke's confession and he wanted to say something to it but Sasuke grabbed his hips and pleasure halted his voice. He found himself looking into the mirror, watching Sasuke move and make love to him. He watched the motion, watched his face and how Sasuke was watching him as Naruto watched them. He closed his eyes as he thought.

_It has always been you; my rival, my best friend, my family, my first love. _

"Naruto?" He opened his eyes as he noticed Tsunade looking at him, concern filling her eyes. He only smiled as he nodded. He breathed in and stared forward as he replied.

"Yes, I'm ready."

Sasuke swallowed his emotions as they tried to crack his stone face. He refused them too. He needed to be strong, had to be. Kakashi noticed his face and smiled at his student. He looked so grown up but he was still the young boy who lost everything but refused to admit he was ever broken up about it.

"Hey, are you ok?" Sasuke closed his eyes and opened his month before he shut it again.

"Hey, are you ok?" Sasuke opened his eyes and saw his feet with sand below them. When he looked up he saw shorts, a white tee shirt and blue eyes that were staring at him with confusion. Sasuke blinked as he noticed the crazy blonde hair and trying to remember who this boy is.

"I'm fine." Sasuke went to stand but he just ended up looking down. The blonde moved over to sit next to him on the swings, Sasuke looked at his side profile. "Why are you here?" He found the boy shrugging.

"I always come here when I'm upset and since no one likes me I can hide here easily." Sasuke blinked at his honesty. The boy smiled and Sasuke squinted at him. This boy also had no family but no one liked him because of what his mother did; of course it is not discussed but... this boy doesn't seem all that bad. "So why are you here?"

"Huh?" Sasuke asked and he giggled.

"Here. No one comes here because I'm here. So why are you here with me?" Sasuke stood finally but that is as far as he went. He could hear the adults running past his hidden play ground so he sat back down. "Are you upset too?"

"No." He hissed and swung his legs. "I'm hiding."

"Oh." The blonde muttered and Sasuke looked at him. "You are Sasuke right?" He narrowed his eyes and the blue eyed only grinned. "I won't tell no one you were here. Promise."

"You don't even know me, why are you being nice to me?" He shrugged at Sasuke's question.

"I just thought we were kind of the same."

"How." Sasuke demanded the answer as the blonde sat there for a second and looked up. He leaned back and swung back and forth a bit. He seemed to have gone serious as he slowly dragged his feet into the dirt. When he had come to a complete stop he looked right at Sasuke with deep, sad eyes.

"We have no family." Sasuke stood and in a second, he tackled this boy. The blonde grunted as they hit the ground, Sasuke was straddling his stomach, glaring. Sasuke pushed his shoulders down and leaned on them as the boy tried to get up but he didn't struggle as much as Sasuke thought he would.

"You shut your mouth!" Sasuke screamed as he stared down as the boy, who's smile was no longer present. His face was blank as he was expecting a beating of his life but he just laid there, like he had shut down. Sasuke's body started to tremble as he felt hot tears roll down his face. He gasped as he leaned back to wipe them away but they just kept coming. Out of rage he screamed and pressed his fists against his eyes as he recalled how his entire family was slaughtered like animals by his own brother, who he admired and wanted to be like. Sasuke had finally broken down and screamed. The boy pushed himself up and hugged Sasuke, who's eyes widened as he lowered his hands a bit.

"I know it seems like the end and that it will get better but believe me it does. The pain never goes away but you find ways to cope with it. And you are not alone even when you feel like it."

"What are you talking about?!" Sauske screamed as he tried to push the blonde away. "I am alone! I have no family or friends left; they were all murdered! Right before my eyes. You were always alone, you had no family that you can recall. Mine died, I knew they. I am alone." The blonde nodded as he released him and looked up.

"You are not alone because you have me. We can be friends." Sasuke's eyes widened as the smile came back on the blonde's face but he saw that smile he noticed before wasn't a happy one; no, it was hopeful one. Hopeful that he wouldn't be rejected, beaten, hated; he hoped to gain a friendship.

Sasuke lowered his head. "I don't even know your name."

The blonde's smile widened. "My name is Naruto." Sasuke's eyes raised as he finally cracked a smile at this idiot's endless amount of optimism. For some reason, he wanted to be like Naruto.

"I'm Sasuke." Naruto's eyes lit up as he said.

"Well it is nice to meet you."

Sasuke tilted his head to the side slightly as he smiled softly. Yes, yes it was nice to meet you.

"Hey, Sasuke." Sasuke opened his eyes and shook his head to see Kakashi leaning towards him. "Are you ok?" Sasuke nodded as he smiled.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He breathed in as he looked forward to see Iruka coming around the corner. His heart skipped as he knew that in a couple seconds he would be marrying Naruto; the boy he fell in love with at first slight, his first love.


	12. Optimistic Lover

_Here's another chapter for you all! I would want to give my thanks out to my fans, new readers/followers and the endless e-mails I have received! It makes me feel happy and a little sad for I feel I will never be able to meet up to the expectation of this story! But enjoy any way and thanks again!_

**Optimistic Lover**

The day was warm and everyone was sitting calmly waiting for Naruto to come out. Sasuke was a ball of broken nerves and Kakashi knew it. Sasuke, the stone, was breaking at the sight that he is getting married. He held his breath as Iruka came down, walking more slowly then Sasuke cared for. His heart was beating a hundred miles per second he thought he'd give himself a heart attack. Sasuke swallowed as he heard.

"So, how does it feel to be marrying the love of your life you waited for twenty five years to marry?" Sasuke smiled as slowly he saw Tsunade and Naruto round the corner. Naruto slowly looked up and they locked eyes as they mirrored the same smile toward each other.

"Perfect." He said as he felt his knees become weak. He saw everyone turn to look at Naruto, but he was only looking at Sasuke. Their eyes burned into each other and they both felt the same way in that exact moment but either one knew that small fact.

When Naruto neared, so close that Sasuke could reach out and touch him, he felt like goo. Sasuke watched Tsunade kiss his cheek and whisper something that was too soft for Sasuke to hear.

"He would be so proud of you, as I am." Naruto looked her way and smiled as he hugged her. She returned the embrace as tears rolled down her face. "Never take this for granted, Naruto," She said as her voice cracked. "Not many people get the chance to say they married their first love." Naruto nodded as she pulled back and Naruto then looked towards Sasuke, who had his hand outstretched for him. He smiled as he laid his shaking hand into Sasuke's clammy flesh. They turned to Kakashi who's smile was hidden beneath his mask.

"We are gathered here today to intertwine to souls; the soul of Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto." Naruto shut his eyes, loving the sound of their names being said in the wedding introductions. His heart was so loud and he smiled when he could hear Sasuke's. "It gives me great honour to marry two former students of mine that took two very different paths from one another to then meet each other at the end of the road. It pleases me deeply that the years of training had not gone to waste and they both survived to the rightful ages of twenty five." Naruto opened his eyes and looked at Sasuke, who was already looking at him. They smiled at each other and shared a small moment, Sasuke tightened his grip around Naruto's slim fingers, who then did the same.

"These boys have gone through hell and back but managed to stay afloat the high waters; even without family, they have picked who they wanted in their lives. They picked each other to fill the void that was thrust upon them." Oh how Kakashi was right; both boys remembered that in the darkness of their pasts lived a demon that wanted to consume them and there was a time where it almost did. Thank God they found each other in the beginning of the torment and the end to silence the monster. Yes there was time when the demon came knocking but both did not answer any longer. "Now, the vows." Kakashi said and they turned to each other, holding hands.

"Naruto," Sasuke started and cleared his throat as emotion tried to grab hold of his voice. "We met when we were ten but I believe when I was conceived, I was born to meet you. Yes we were oil and water and to some days I still believe that cliché saying. But I love you, it took a long time for me to come terms with that because I have known death, fear, despair and loneliness. But since you walked into my life, I know that I want you; I can't convince myself any more that I'd be fine if you are gone. Love doesn't know what distance is and I want to be scared and don't know why. No one can fix a fall like this because you are it. You have always been it. I love you and I am so glad to be where I am right now, with you. For I could not image being here with anyone else but you."

Sasuke smiled in his eyes and Naruto just wanted to drown him with kisses but he knew he couldn't...not yet. Naruto fought the blush that dared to light up his face. He squeezed Sasuke's fingers and then went on with his vows.

"I never thought in a million years you would pick me; especially because I am not a female. It took me months to come to terms with being with you, not because of you but because of who we are. It was hard but I'm glad I picked what I did because you mean more to me then anything in the world. You protect me and we understand when we don't want to talk. We both know what pain feels like and yes we invoke some memories to surface from each other; but at the end of the day, you are who I want to laugh with, cry with and always love. The day I met you, was the day I finally knew what living meant. You gave me a reason to go as far as I did; you are everything and more to me. I wish I knew how to put it into words of how much you mean to me Sasuke. I love you."

Even though Sasuke and Naruto were watching each other with teary eyes, they did not see the crowd and the emotions they all had. No one had said a comment about their sex for they knew these boys and why they loved each other. They were ying and yang most days but they completed each other in a way that could not be explained by words.

Hinata watched the most though. She is married to Kiba and had two children but had always loved Naruto. She knew the day she met him, she wasn't the one for him. He never had to say it, she knew it. She was just happy she had the time with him that she did. It was short and she could relive it all over again if she could. To say she isn't happy is a lie because she is. But Kiba to Naruto will only be second best. He never knew it, and she wanted to keep it that way for Naruto deserves to be happy. He spent too long doing what other's wanted of him; she was glad he did something for him and she'd miss him.

"It gives me great pleasure to have the power in me to pronounce Sasuke and Naruto married by the laws of Konoha!" They crowd cheered as the boys smiled and looked at Kakashi, who was also smiling as a tear rolled down his cheek and soaked into his fabric of his mask. "You can kiss Naruto." Sasuke grinned as he grabbed Naruto's face and slowly their lips locked. Naruto wrapped his arms around his now husband as tears danced down his face. When Sasuke pulled back, to run his fingers across Naruto's tear stained cheeks, he whispered slowly.

"I love you." Naruto chewed his lips as he whispered back.

"I love you too."

As the boys grabbed each others hand, they smiled and turned to the crowd. They raised their hands above their head and everyone cheered. They slowly walked forward and waved to their friends that have come so far with them. Naruto looked back to wave to Kakashi, Iruka and Tsunade. They all waved back and Naruto's eyes widened as he swore he saw Jiraya standing behind Tsunade and his parents next to him. He blinked and they were gone but he liked to think they were here. When he looked at Sasuke, he had the same look when they finally met eyes and Naruto smiled. Maybe they weren't the only family members to attend?

Though there was a big party for everyone to attend if they felt like they wanted; Sasuke and Naruto didn't. They wanted to see their friends but their need for each other was too much for them to ignore. They fell into their room and onto the small bed. They tore at each other's clothes, not caring if they were ripped beyond compare. They tossed the fabrics aside and grabbed at each other's flesh. They kissed each other's lips until they were raw from too much attention. They didn't care.

Sasuke shoved Naruto against the bed and left bite and kiss marks all over his body. Naruto released noises he didn't know he could make as Sasuke loved his body from his face down to his feet. He left no place on his body to be unexplored. He wanted to carve his name into Naruto's flesh, so he could never live without Sasuke.

When Sasuke came up, they locked eyes for a moment. They were both breathless as they kept this connection. "Can I.."

"Yes." Naruto muttered and held Sasuke close, who then parted his blonde's legs to connect with him. Naruto flinched and Sasuke looked up. "I'm ok." He whispered as he felt the stretch and the slight pain. "Please..." Sasuke moved in slowly as he lend on his elbows for support and Naruto held onto his neck, pulling himself closer to now his husband.

"Does it hurt?" Naruto tried to prove Sasuke wrong by saying no but Sasuke knew it did. He waited and tested his blonde and when he was then ready, he thrust deeply into him. Naruto cried out his name as the pleasure ran to his head. His swollen sex was begging for attention and Sasuke saw it. He wanted Naruto to know that he loved him to the bottom of his heart. He wanted Naruto to feel like he really couldn't live without his raven. Sasuke shifted so he could still enter and yet still touch another part of Naruto who needed attention.

"I can't- Not both!" Naruto gasped as his body began to shutter. "Sasuke.." He moaned and Sasuke watched his new husband. He couldn't help but think of Naruto so erotic and beautiful at the same time. He smiled as he leaned his forehead against Naruto's sweat covered shoulder. "Sasuke, I'm gonna... oh god!"

"Me too.." Sasuke muttered as Naruto climaxed first and after a few seconds, Sasuke followed suit. They collapsed into each other's arms and breathed in each other's scent. When Sasuke lifted his head, Naruto opened his eyes to look at him. "I love you."

Naruto smiled as he breathed out. "I love you too." They kissed softly as Sasuke then gently pulled back. "What?" He asked and Sasuke shook his head.

"You are so beautiful." Naruto grabbed his face and said.

"No, you are the beautiful one, my porcelain doll." Sasuke smiled again and rested a hand over Naruto's. "I can't compare to you." Sasuke closed his eyes and whispered.

"Don't compete with me, Naruto. Just stay with me. You are beautiful like the sun and I'm beautiful like the moon; we compliment each other." Naruto blushed but Sasuke didn't see that for he kept his eyes closed. "And don't bring yourself down with comparing yourself to me." Naruto nodded as Sasuke opened his eyes. "For I never want you to feel inferior to me for you are the one I want to be like, my optimistic lover." Naruto only smiled as they kissed again. Sasuke pulled away again then kissed Naruto's forehead. "I want to have children with you." Naruto's eyes widened as Sasuke sat back a little more to see his reaction.

"I'd say that's a challenge we can't fix." Sasuke laughed as Naruto smiled again. Sasuke rolled onto his side to see Naruto better.

"True, but we could always adopt." Naruto nodded, liking the idea.

"Or get a woman who is willing to have our children so we can raise them?" Naruto made a face and Sasuke kissed his shoulder. "I'm only kidding. Would you want to adopt?" Naruto shrugged.

"I like the idea."

"Me too," Sasuke said, a smile lingering on his words.

**One more chapter left guys! Stay tune! **

**-Jun**


	13. Extra: Never be the Same

_ Hello my beautiful fans, followers and new people! You are looking at the FINAL chapter of _ Despite my determination, the pain is still penetrating. _I would like to take the time to thank you all for following me to the bitter end but a __**BIG **__thank you goes out to my most dedicated fans, _ FireStarDragon and , _who always had something very nice to say for every chapter. I will never be able to write such a story again that is so loved, but I am glad I wrote more to this. Thank you all again, you kept this story alive and I hope you all enjoyed the journey, as I did. This chapter is very emotional, even I didn't know how I was ending it until it ended. I would suggest tissues and warning for this is a malexmale story and there is scenes. Please enjoy! _

_ Also, while writing each chapter, I always listen to songs to help me write better; to get me into the mood. For this chapter, I listened to __One Republic - Stop and Stare_

_**Red- I'll never be the same **__and __**Jason Mraz- I won't give up. **__The "I won't give up" song, played a HUGE part from the first chapter to the last; it's truly Sasuke and Naruto's song. _

**Never be the same**

_Twenty six years_. That seems like such a long time to be with someone and maybe it is. But to me it wasn't near long enough. It felt like my fragile human life should be longer because I'm not done loving yet; I don't think forever will be long enough.

There was a quiet knock that disturbed my thoughts and I gently looked over my shoulder. I saw a woman in the doorway; young, slim, long red haired, green eyed beautiful woman, that could be mistaken for my mother in her youth. My heart swelled as she walked over to me. She leaned over to kiss my temple and whispered.

"How is he daddy?" Tears swelled in my eyes. This woman was who Sasuke and I had spent twenty five years raising together. But now she is twenty six. I closed my eyes, trying to fight the tears that wanted to fall. I touched my forehead and the glisten of my wedding band caught my eye. I pulled my hand down and glanced at it for a few moments.

"The same, Akari." I watched my daughter pull up a chair and grab my hand. She looked at me, trying to stay strong but I knew she wanted to break down. I closed my eyes again, I wanted to cry but I needed to comfort my daughter if she breaks down first. Akari gently placed her shoulder and I felt her body tremble. I raised my hand and stroked her hair.

"Why daddy," She sobbed and I tried to look at her; she hide her face though. "Out of all the people, why did dad have to take the attack?" I breathed in, I hear this question at least once a week. We both still couldn't understand it but I cleared my throat and opened my eyes. I looked at Sasuke, his black hair streaked with grey but he didn't look his true age of fifty one, we both didn't. My heart ached as I saw the bandages and tubes inside of him. I remember when Sakura told me that she did all she could. She healed everything that she could, but his brain was in shocked. It was a way to protect the body from shutting down, so now, he is in a coma. She told me it would only take a few months, if at that; it's been a year today.

"He's the Hokage, that's why Akari; it's his job to protect his people." She sobbed again and one did claw at my throat, but I swallowed it; I had too.

"But daddy, who is there to protect us?" She was right. Sasuke jumped to protect the city, and he did save us- not before I tried to protect Sasuke. I looked down at my arm, or where it should be. Sometimes it still hurts, even if there is nothing there too hurt. Akari, our medical ninja, takes most of the blame for she feels responsible. All I could was kiss her head as she screamed in my shoulder. She never did see the tears roll down my cheeks.

My house now feels so empty without Sasuke. It didn't matter what room I went into, his ghost was there. Our walls were flooded with pictures of Akari and Sasuke and I. Over the years when our friend's children got married, we then started to hang those up too. Hinata's children were both married as was Ino's. Sakura even surprised everyone getting married a year after Sasuke and I to Sai; their children now had a family, which is nice to hear. Everyone got a happy ending, but it seems Sasuke and I did have our happy days. We adopted Akari as a baby that Kakashi found outside of where he and Iruka were living. She was a sweet child, parent's were murdered and we took her in.

She adjusted perfectly into our family and even though we had hopes of adopting more; Akari became our world. She became our princess and the glue to everything that dared to tare us apart. My legs shook when I saw my and Sasuke's wedding picture. We were so young there; happy. I ran my fingers down his face before I allowed myself to break down.

A few days later, Hinata surprised me with a visit. It was good to see her face. I allowed her into my kitchen, in which I made her green tea but just drank water for myself. She sat there, quiet for a moment but I couldn't tell if that was her normal self or something was bothering her.

She fidgeted a bit before she placed her cup down. When she looked up, her light grey eyes seemed to look right through mine. I tried to smile but when she looked away, I knew there was something wrong for sure now.

"Hinata.." I started but she shook her head.

"I told myself not to come, but my feet led me here anyway, you should have pushed me out. Why did you allow me in?" I didn't understand where this was coming from. I cocked my head to the side as she suddenly turned to me, her face showed shame. I went to ask what was wrong, but she reached out and kissed me.

I jerked back just as fast as her lips brushed mine. I sat back, staring at her in complete shock. Her face showed determination, so I pulled myself to my feet and back up. I made sure I had space between us before I asked what I did then.

"Why did you kiss me?" She looked away, becoming shy but then she shook her head, she turned to me again.

"I love you, I have always loved you." I rubbed my hands over my face, becoming tired. "Sasuke is in a coma, I thought you'd-"

My anger surfaced suddenly as I dropped my hands. "You thought _what_?" I roared. "That because I'm lonely I'd sleep with _you_?" I glared at her as I checked her out then shook my head in disgust. "How low do you think I am?"

Hinata's face stood still as she got up and reached for her jacket. "I thought you were a man with needs."

I kept my distance, gripping the counter until my knuckles turned white. "I am." I said through clenched teeth. "But not the kind of man you want, never have been." That's when Hinata's eyes widened as she stepped to me. She started up at me and then suddenly she slapped me. It didn't hurt as much as it was loud. It echoed in the room but I kept my head turned as she went to say something. However that's when the front door opened. Akari yelled out a greeting but Hinata turned on her heel and stalked out, bumping right into Akari. I watched my daughter stare at her as Hinata slammed the door shut, then she turned to me and pointed with her thumb over her shoulder.

"Want to talk about it?" I just shook my head as I went to clean the table. Akari beat me to it and grinned up at me. I found my lips turning up as it was hard to resist her smile. Akari did the dishes as I sat at the table, my heart was heavy today and she knew it. I began to rub my elbow bone where my arm should extend, but no longer did.

"So...Ryo came home today." I nodded, not liking hearing "Ryo" and "Home" in the same sentence. Akari slowly turned around and leaned against the counter, soap was dripping off her fingers as she looked down. When she didn't say anything, I turned and looked up at her. Her face was slightly red, as if she was blushing. I gave her my attention and Akari opened her mouth to say something, but then she giggled. I wanted to be happy but I just found my face drawn low. "Daddy, he asked me to marry him." My eyes widened before I blinked a few times. It had to sink in for a moment as I thought, daughter, Ryo, home, marry. I sighed, Akari looked concerned until I said.

"Well, that would explain a few things." Akari grinned and nodded. I went to get up to hug her, congratulate her for Ryo isn't a bad person; sometimes I wish he were so I could punch his face in. But no, he is a teacher, well educated, good family and graduated at the top of his face, along side Akari. But before I was standing, Akari suddenly added.

"There's just one more thing, and you may want to sit down for this one." My face drained as Akari fidgeted a little. She chewed her lip and tried to smile, but was unable.

"I'm four weeks pregnant." My breath held as Akari placed her hands over her stomach, I watched. Akari tried to meet my eyes but I kept them low; it didn't feel right for me to just be hearing this. No, Sasuke should be here too. _We_ should be listening to _our_ daughter tell _us_ that she is pregnant, which meant _we'd_ be grandpa's at fifty one. Not just me listening to my daughter tell me she is pregnant. It didn't feel right and for some reason, I just wasn't as happy as I should be. "Daddy?" I blinked and looked up, her face was waiting for a reply so I forced myself to smile as I got up and embraced her.

"Congratulations Akari." She hugged me back but I just looked outside the window. The window were I could always see Sasuke coming down the road from a long day at work. I looked down then for he wasn't there; I don't think I'd ever see him coming home again.

I knew I was dreaming that night, but yet, when I saw Sasuke, it felt so real. His hair was no longer highlighted with grey, but rather jet black. His face was youthful, his look, he was still the Hokage. He smiled at me as he outreached his hand for mine. I ran to him, embracing him, holding him as close as I dared. He felt so real, so true, still mine.

"I miss you so much." I sobbed and he stroked my hair, resting his cheek on the top of my head. I clenched my hands, breathing in his scent. "Oh my god, do I miss you." He nodded and when I pulled back slowly, his smile was there; oh he's so beautiful. I reached up to touch his face, he copied me but instead of just holding my face, he wiped my tears. It was futile because they just kept coming down. "I love you so much, why don't you speak to me?" He smiled and with one hand, he touched his forehead. I blinked, not understanding. He tapped it again and when he pulled his hand down, I saw the huge scar that went from his hair line down to his left eye. My eyes widened, when I got to see him, the bandages are always there.

"Is this the scar from the blast?" He nodded. "This is what it will look like under your bandages?" He nodded again. "And you can't speak?" He opened his mouth, his lips moved but no sound came. "Is this because of brain damage?" He shook his head. "Are you using your Sharingan to cast illusions?" He nodded and I felt myself finally smiling. "So you are strong enough to enter my dreams but too weak for words?" He finally smiled too and I felt this overwhelming emotions, the need to cry, scream and laugh.

I slowly went on my tip toes and kissed him. He still tasted like him; I moaned. It has been too long. He wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing me deeper, making me want to tare at his clothes but I was being gentle, so was he. If we went too crazy, would that make his disappear faster? I opened my eyes and was shocked to see he was also kissing me with his eyes opened. He lifted a hand to tangle it in my hair, he looked like the now Sasuke, the one where he had grown into a man, like me. He looked his true age and for some reason, I found it more attractive. Maybe that's because we had grown together so I loved him with or without his greying hair and wrinkled skin.

When he pulled back, we stared at each other. "Sasuke, I love you and you know I will always wait for you." He nodded, stroking my hair again. "Even if you never wake, I'll be here." I watched his eyes narrow and I said. "I know what you are thinking, and I will never move on. You are it; so if you never wake, I never love again. Because after loving you, I'll never be the same." He tried to look angry but his eyes softened, he was relieved maybe? I'm not sure. I kissed him again and he again deepened the kiss. I held him close.

"Love you." Was all I heard and before I could reply, my eyes opened and I was in my bed alone with Sasuke's voice lingering. I slowly reached out and grabbed Sasuke's pillow, his scent was fading. I never cried so hard that night.

It didn't matter what day I went, or how often I went to the hospital; Sasuke always looked the same. He looked like he was fading right in front of my eyes. Akari was so heart broken, she had to stop coming. Her emotions were going through the roof with her pregnancy and her wedding plans.

"I'm angry with her," I whispered to Sasuke, who just slept soundly. "She is planning a wedding instead of being here. It makes me want to scream at her, but I can't. I know she wants to start her family and get on with her life. She loves you so much though, she just can't bare to see you like this." My tears rolled down my face as I looked away. I gently lowered my head as I whispered words he would never hear.

Sasuke visited me in my dreams again, this time it was a bit longer. He was warmer then before. He blessed me with my other arm so when we sat on the floor, we held hands. I chatted the most, talking about Akari and her pregnancy and he glowed. He loved hearing about Akari and he loved to hear what was going on with me. I found himself telling him everything but about Hinata. I couldn't let her name slip past my lips, even though I knew I should. I would always keep that as my dirty secret.

When I went to say something new about Akari, Sasuke suddenly kissed me. I gasped, wanting him to save his energy but he wouldn't have it. He shoved me down and tore my shirt apart. I stared up at him as he tarring off his own shirt. When he came down, I pushed against his chest, seeing his scars. I ran my fingers over them and that's when I pushed myself up with an elbow as I kissed them all. He waited and when I was finished, I laid back down. He kissed me as his fingers explored my eager body.

I found myself breathing his name as he brushed my most eager place. I arched my back as he smiled as he gently removed my pants. I watched, his eyes hypnotizing me. He then winked as he took my whole in his mouth. I gasped, knocking my head back. It had been a year and three months, and I felt ready to explode. He bobbed his head a few times, giving attention to the tip and the base. I reached out and dug my fingers in his hair.

"Sasuke, please, stop- I can't hold it." I gasped and he pulled back. I breathed slowly as he leaned over me and with one easy thrust, he placed himself inside of me. I screamed out his name as I pulled myself closer to him, as he moved. He rocked my every spot, touching every place that need his attention.

He grabbed my lips and bit, chewed them before he slipped his tongue inside my mouth. I moaned, his taste was mixed with mine; I needed him, I needed more. We moved together, not forgetting how we matched together perfectly. We hadn't lost touch, even after this year. When he started to go faster, I held him closer. He grew hotter, bigger and I was moaning his name, he moved his ear to listen better. It didn't last much longer because when we climaxed together, he collapsed into my arms. I held him, I felt his heart beat over top of mine. I stared at him as he moved his face up; our eyes locked and as I smiled, he whispered.

"I love you."

And again, my dream ended.

Akari's belly had swollen out a lot, even when I see her everyday, she seemed to grow larger every day. She was the prettiest pregnant woman I have ever seen. Ryo even started to come over sometimes. We talked and I hated that I liked him. And even when I went for walks, he looked after Akari in a way I could never. At least I knew she would be safe in case anything ever did happen to me.

I ran into Sakura one day when I was walking my usual trail. She smiled and I suddenly knew she looked a lot like Tsunade. She hugged me and she felt so safe to me right now. She trembled a bit but she had pulled herself together by the time we pulled apart.

"How is Sasuke?" We both asked at the same time then we laughed. Sakura smiled then and said. "He is good, everything seems to be healing just perfectly." I nodded then she asked me.

"He seems good," I didn't tell her how he came into my dreams, just in case she told me that's not impossible. I didn't need that destroyed by anyone. "I wish he would wake up."

"Don't we all," Was her reply. When it became quiet over us, she looked away. "I heard Akari should be going into labour any day now. She's what, nine months right?"

"Today marks her nine month mark." She smiled and I returned it. Sakura seemed so distracted, but with a very good friend hanging up strings on life wasn't helping. I went to ask something else, maybe to get off this serious topic, she beat me to it.

"You should consider becoming the Hokage," My eyes widened at her sudden statement. She crossed her arms over her chest and continued. "You were the second choice, and you wanted it more then Sasuke ever did, it's obvious. So you should start thinking about taking over. We need a Hokage before destruction falls upon us."

I shook my head as I smiled. "I can't do that,"

"Why not?" She asked, more worried then angry. I breathed in and smiled, I was playing with my wedding band. I knew it if I accepted being the Hokage, then I was accepting Sasuke's death, there was no way I could ever do that.

"Because Sasuke is going to wake up, Sakura." She seemed like she wanted to say something more, maybe to say it was impossible. I was glad when I heard my name; I looked over my shoulder to see a face I didn't know.

"Naruto, I'm Ryo's mother." I smiled, turning and was ready to introduce myself. She waved her hands. "There is no time for that, Ryo told me where you'd be. Akari went into labour." My eyes widened as I looked over my shoulder and Sakura waved me away. I started to run side by side this woman to the hospital.

And we made it just in time. Relieve flushed over Akari's face when I entered her room. She reached out her arms and I walked over to hug her. I saw Ryo standing on the other side of her. When she pulled back, I saw the beads of sweat forming over her forehead. I used the back of my sleeve to wipe them away.

"This really hurts." She told me and I laughed as I saw one of the healing ninja's come in. She chatted with Akari for a moment, then sat. Her eyes widened as she peeked under the sheet. Suddenly she left and came back as fast as she was gone. I watched her then looked at Akari, who was looking at Ryo.

"What's wrong?" I asked firmly and the woman looked at me.

"The baby's umbilical cord in showing, which means it is wrapped around the baby's neck. We need to do an emergency C- section." My eyes widened as I looked down at my daughter, who had burst into tears. At that moment, everything seemed to be going a million miles per hour. I didn't know where to go and I tried to comfort my daughter, but that's when I was asked to leave for only one person was allowed in the birthing room; I was ok with the idea that Akari wanted the father to see the birth of his child.

So I waited outside and it seemed like time went by too slow. I rocked my body back and forth; so worried that something was happening. But it wasn't long after when I heard my name by two voices. I saw the same woman from before. My breath held as she informed me as Akari's baby made it's tribute, Sasuke's monitor went dead.

I didn't have time to mourn, so I went straight to Sasuke's room. I could see my granddaughter later, I could only say goodbye to Sasuke once. When I arrived at his room, I saw Sasuke was still bandaged and still looking the same. I felt a sob building in my throat but still, I sat down on the stool next to his bed and reached for his hand; it was ice cold. I moved to sit on the bed and placed his hand against my cheek, I closed my eyes as I whispered, leaning my face against his cold touch.

"I was asked to start considering being the Hokage today, but I said no." I laughed, "I couldn't do it because you are still the Hokage, and if I accept, then it's like I'm accepting your death." I felt my tears roll down my cheeks, even though my eyes were closed. I tried to clear my throat but I allowed myself to sob for a few minutes. I lowered my head. Sasuke is gone. My shoulders shook, I was so sure that he was in my dreams, that he was getting better. He was suppose to get better, he can't leave me, he told me he never would. We had gone through hell and back, he can't leave. I screamed out his name, for something just came over me. This sudden rage that I always felt but never executed it on anyone. I was ready to lose my composure.

I rested my forehead against his chest. I'll never be the same, I thought to myself.  
>I'm always caught inside these memories of us. The promises, our days together. I sobbed, feeling the hot tears dripping onto his shirt, leaving wet stains. Sasuke, I thought, after loving you, I can never be the same. I whispered his name and I heard my heart beat suddenly beat double time. Even my heart couldn't take his death well. But that's when I felt my heart but heard another one, louder, coming back to life.<p>

I wrenched myself back and stared at Sasuke. His eyes were still closed, did I image it. I looked at the monitor and saw it was still dead, until, suddenly two lines shot up and went down.

"You should have taken it," My eyes widened as I slowly turned my head and looked down to see Sasuke's face. And I saw that the eye, that wasn't bandaged over, was open. He smiled as he groaned. "White has always been your colour."

I stared at him, feeling my bottom lip quivering, fearing that this was a cruel dream I didn't want to wake from. I stared at him and waiting for him to vanish, but he never did. I reached out and he felt cold, not warm. I allowed myself to let a smile form across my face as tears free fell onto his cheeks. I collapsed onto his chest and felt his arms embrace me. I buried my face into the crook of his neck and sob, moaning his name; all this time he just stroked my hair and kept whispering, "It will be ok."

And for the first time in two years, I finally believed it.

"Sasuke!" I called, who then came into the living room, still using his cane. His face glowed as I smiled. Sasuke did have a scar that went from his hair line down to his left eye. He had lost his vision in his left eye but he was healing wonderfully. He walked over, hugged me and kissed my temple. When he pulled back, we stare at each other then kissed each other, breathing each other's scents. We laughed when we pulled back, loving the sound of each other's voice.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and before we could go over to it, Akari was already in our living room. We smiled as she said.

"Daddy, dad," We turned to our only daughter, who's hair was now at her shoulders and she still glowed from her pregnancy. "I would like you to meet Narusuke." Sasuke grinned as Akari walked over and placed the small infant into his arms. Her little eyes bounced from me to Sasuke. We enjoyed the moment, loving this tiny girl, who mirrored her mother in everyway. That's when Ryo walked in, but we hardly noticed until our daughter said. "And Sasuto." We both looked up in shock to see Ryo holding a second baby. We looked at Akari who cleared her throat. "I didn't want you to be known of him because he almost died. He came out dead and just when they were ready to pronounce his death, he suddenly started screaming." Her eyes started to water as I looked at Sasuke; that's when Sasuto squawked, so I went over to hold him. I was mindful to watch his head as Ryo placed him in my arm, I looked down at him. I expected my daughter's son to look like Ryo, but he looked identical to how Sasuke looked as a baby. Sasuke noticed when I titled the baby a little for him to see. It was then that I believed that Sasuto and Sasuke were reborn, together.

Later that night, when I was wrapped up in Sasuke's embraced, I touched his scar that led down his face. He opened his eyes and kissed my forehead. "I missed you so much, I thought I was ready to just die." He smiled and kissed me again, I kissed him back before he pulled back.

"Promise me, if I do die, that you will try and love again." I stared into his dark eyes, ones that had my heart from the first day I met his glance. I smiled.

"I can't." He opened his mouth, ready to protest, but I beat him to it. "I meant it then and I mean it now, you are it. You are my first and last. And if we are torn away before our time, then I will wait until I can be with you again." He stared at me and I noticed a tear slip down his cheek. I wiped it away. "I have loved you then, I love you still, I always have and I always will, that I can promise." Suddenly, Sasuke burst into sob, something that was so rare of him. I embraced him, stroking his hair as he tears wet my neck. He shuttered and moaned and I was there until he could collect himself.

"I have waited for you nearly twenty five years, been with you for twenty six and I will always, always love you until the bitter end; then I will wait to be reincarnated and we can do it all over again." I laughed, for he was never the mushy kind of guy; he isn't a hopeless romantic like I am. That's why I found myself crying as I whispered.

"Then we can be together forever." He nodded, looking too seriously then said.

"Maybe then one of us can be the girl for real then."

"Why you!" I screamed and attacked him with my fist, he laughed loudly, one where he echoed off the walls back into our ears. When he caught my fist, he spun me over until my back. I looked up at him as he whispered.

"I'm only kidding; whether you are a man, a woman, different race, fat, poor or even missing any limbs; I will always love you." I laughed then as his lips came down.

My days are so fulfilling with you around, even today, I have learnt the meaning of happiness again in my two years of winter. I wish for it to never end.

-Jun

Thank you all3 I am very emotional now that this story is done. But thank you all, again, for staying until the bitter end. It means the world to me that I had so many fans; Thank you my beautiful fans, truly!


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